Logan had nothing
by sunshineindenver
Summary: I always thought Logan had a pretty crappy life-so now I've made him poor too!  Logan and Veronica in a semi-sort of role reversal but not really... Rated for language because I cannot help but swear.  Also, Duncan, Aaron, Lilly, and Keith.
1. Chapter 1

_Logan had nothing_

She has everything and he has nothing…

Logan Echolls lived with his dad in a two-bedroom apartment on the wrong side of town. But, God, he hoped for something better, something more. Someday. His mom had up and split about a year ago, his friends had turned against him a while back and Aaron… Well, Aaron wasn't the sort of dad you could count on for anything except pain but he was all Logan had. Aaron Echolls was respected in some circles, just not the coat and tie kind of circles. And Logan had stupidly stood by his father because, why? He didn't really know why. Logan was one of the most loyal people you could ever hope to meet even though no one had ever given him any solid reason to be. He was just a glutton for punishment, he guessed.

Veronica Mars lived with her dad in a veritable palace in the 90909 zip code. She was Daddy's little girl still even at age seventeen. But she was a deep thinker who wanted something more than an easy life. In fact, if it was easy, it wasn't Veronica's way. Her mom had killed herself about a year ago and Veronica mourned her every day. And she didn't understand. Were Lianne's addictions so much that they outweighed her daughter and her husband? Did nothing else matter? Lianne had never asked her to understand.

Keith Mars was pretty much father of the year, every year. Even after his wife took her own life, he just grew stronger for his daughter. That which doesn't kill you, as they say… Keith was the mayor of Neptune, California and he held the office with pride. Aaron Echolls and Keith Mars were the same age, with children the same age, but they ran with different crowds-so to speak. Aaron was a failed actor, like so many others, who could never find his goddamn way in life. After a miserable childhood and a few near chances at success, Aaron resigned himself to a beautifully tragic fate. He lived in one of the richest cities in America, working for the rich folks, surviving on the fringes. He used to live straight-he used to wait tables, cater weddings of the stars and so forth. But he wasn't cut out for it. He always thought, 'I'm better than you people are. Don't you dare go thinking that you're better than I am.' After all these years, he still had such an ego and so much misplaced pride. Instead of pride in his son and adoration for his wife, he only was happy when he himself felt on top.

Thus, Aaron's less than illustrious career had devolved into a slightly more lucrative life of crime.

"Logan, look alive!" Aaron leaned inside the open passenger side window of his old beater Chrysler and urgently snapped the fingers of his left hand a few inches away from his son's face. Logan noticed his dad wasn't wearing his wedding ring anymore. Maybe he had pawned it, though God knows it wasn't worth much, Logan thought.

"Sorry, Dad." Aaron huffed and ran off with his pistol (not a euphemism). Logan sighed. He was sixteen, nearly an adult, and he was still letting his father bully him around. How much longer was he going to sit lookout for this man-this man he didn't even really like, despite their biological relation? Maybe because he knew how dangerous his dad was, even though as his son he had only seen the tip of the iceberg. Logan suspected his dad was a murderer, maybe a rapist, definitely a thief. He had seen Aaron steal cars, rob people blind, beat people up. Logan had lived through beatings at his father's hand-too many to fucking count. Thank God his dad wasn't home that much or the count would probably be astronomically high. It wasn't even necessarily that Aaron hated his son-more that his temper knew no bounds and Logan was often the one nearby. Aaron probably loved Logan more than he loved anyone else in the world-it was just that he didn't love anyone else in the world so this wasn't saying much. If Logan hadn't done anything wrong, Aaron would make something up that his kid deserved to be beaten for.

Logan's mom, Lynn, never tried to protect him from getting hit-at least not since Logan was a little boy. Ironically, since Lynn had taken off, things had actually gotten slightly better between father and son. The beatings were fewer and farther between, the odd slap here or there, it was almost like it was just Aaron and Logan against the world. How sick was that? Logan's only ally was his bastard of a father. His crazy psycho bastard of a father but still, Logan was almost big enough to take him on. Maybe that was what was giving Aaron pause. And Logan tried not to piss his father off… Well, no, that was just a lie that Logan told himself. He went out of his way to piss Aaron off sometimes, but did that justify anything? His dad was still an asshole. When Logan wasn't trying to push Aaron's buttons, he was pretty much quivering in a silent state of abject fear around him. And really, if your dad was a total dickhead, wouldn't you try to get under his skin too? A year and a half, Logan told himself. A year and a half and I'll be free. If Logan could say one good thing about his dad, at least the man had taught him how to throw a punch and take a punch-and had given him a preternaturally high tolerance for alcohol. Oh wait, maybe that was from his mom's side…

Logan was sick of being poor in the same way that Veronica was sick of having everything handed to her. As the mayor's daughter (and not just any mayor but a beloved mayor), she got things for free more often than not. Her good looks weren't hurting her too much either. Veronica was adorable like a pixie-a pixie with sharp, sharp edges. Before her mom died, Veronica had lived such a charmed life. No pain, no heartache, hell even her grandparents were all still alive. And now… She saw the pity in people's eyes when she passed them on the street and she despised them for it. Her mom was sick and it wasn't her fault but life goes on… It's just that everybody in Neptune knew the mayor's daughter. No one in town could look at her and not see what had happened. She felt people's sympathies screaming through her head whenever she went out in public and it was like she couldn't get a moment's rest. In a way, Veronica had wanted a harder life but not in this way. She missed her mother so much just thinking of Lianne made her breath hitch. Veronica was anxious all the time but couldn't dare show that to her dad. Keith was amazing, he was more than enough for two parents-if that made any sense. She didn't want to hurt him any more than he was surely hurting deep inside.

'Your mom is sick.' That's what Keith would always say, even when Lianne was alive. It's a disease like any other. And Veronica truly believed it. It wasn't easy to quit, her mom had said. And Veronica agreed. She knew it wasn't. Lianne wasn't a bad mother; Lianne was just bad to herself. She would get manic and alcohol would quiet her thoughts. Of course, Lianne would also get depressed and then pile the alcohol on top of that too. That was probably the emotional state she was in when she killed herself, Veronica reasoned. Suicide wasn't cowardice, Veronica decided, it just sometimes felt like something you had to do. Sometimes you just got tired of waking up, you know? And death stopped seeming like the worst of all evils. If only Lianne could have held on for one more night, maybe those feelings would have passed, maybe her daughter could have gotten her through it… Maybe.

Logan awoke to the sensation of being backhanded across the face. Oh good, his father was back and Logan had dosed off in the car while sitting lookout. Aaron snarled at him about falling asleep but Logan didn't even know why he was on this trip. Aaron had been inside the bar for what seemed like forever and when he finally came out there was no urgency, no hollering, "Logan, drive!" None of that shit. And he wasn't carrying any loot. He was swaggering like a man who had just made a deal with the Fitzpatricks, which is probably exactly what he was. Logan wiped the blood from his mouth and stared at his father, who was now sitting in the driver's seat and seemed pretty elated all things considered.

"You'll never believe what the fuck happened in there, kid." Aaron shifted the car into first gear. Logan sleepily raised his eyebrows and squinted at Aaron through the setting sun. I bet I will, he thought to himself. And I won't be anywhere near as damn excited as you are. Out loud, he said nothing because Aaron would have probably hit him again for that and his dad was hardly ever looking for a response from him except when things got scary quiet. And then nothing Logan said could make anything any better so there wasn't really any point in trying.

Duncan, Lilly, and Veronica sauntered up the steps of Neptune High three in a row. Lilly was effervescently beautiful, Logan decided as he looked at her from afar. Lilly had that kind of energy that made everyone want to be around her, even if she wasn't being that nice to them. But she would never date a guy like him. He was too young, too poor, from too disgraced a family and, frankly, he was still not exciting enough for her. Maybe if somehow his family could get even more disgraced Lilly would be attracted to the danger… But really, ever since his dad had turned to a life of crime (or since people had realized Aaron had turned to a life of crime, which didn't take too long since Logan's dad could be a fucking pompous braggart idiot sometimes), nobody wanted anything to do with Logan-not his mother, not his former best friend Duncan, not even the mayor's daughter. But he guessed that made sense. Still he missed going over to Duncan and Lilly's mansion and seeing how the other half lived. The Kane family never used to judge him but they did show him charity on more than one occasion… Until Aaron found out and told Jake Kane where he could stick his software billions. And beat Logan's back with a belt until he bled. Logan always went back to school the next day after a beating as though nothing had happened. He wasn't sure what he was more afraid of-his father finally snapping and killing him one day or people's reactions if they ever found out. If people believed him, which they probably would knowing his dad's reputation. Pity was something Logan couldn't abide. In fact, fuck the Kane's charity. It wasn't Logan's fault he wasn't born with a silver spoon in his mouth, so why should he feel embarrassed about that? Still, Lilly Kane was so fucking hot…

Veronica watched Logan watching Lilly and sighed. Duncan's parents had long since forbid him from hanging out with Logan due to his father's, erm, activities and Duncan was nothing if not an obedient son. 'Think of the way things would look, son.' Lilly was the farthest thing on Earth from obedient but she just didn't give enough of a damn about Logan to bother fighting with her mother over the situation. Lilly had a million and one other ways to defy her mother, starting with her dalliance with a diminutive Latino gang member. Veronica's dad had never told her she couldn't hang out with Logan; Keith understood Logan's father's faults were not his own. He had warned his daughter, though, Aaron Echolls is dangerous. There is nothing quite so dangerous as a desperate, amoral, and egotistical man. Veronica had been trying to stick by Duncan's side when he had stopped hanging out with Logan. After all, they were dating back then. But now she and Duncan were just friends (his decision) and she could see how haunted Logan's eyes looked, even from far away. She was thisclose to saying fuck it but there was still something making her hold back. What was it about Logan Echolls that put a lump in Veronica Mars' throat? Well, fuck it.

"Um, Logan…" She stealthily approached. He whipped his head around and glared at Veronica. He hadn't even heard her arrive until her breath was in his ear. Logan couldn't fucking help it. She was part of the reason that he felt so alone. He turned back around and kept walking. "Logan, c'mon, don't you even care?"

"I sometimes care; I often don't."

"Logan, just talk to me. I feel bad, ok?"

"You feel _bad_?"

"Badly?" She suggested, mistaking his skepticism at her apology for grammar correction.

Logan actually laughed out loud. "Like I fucking know which one it's supposed to be." Bad grades on tests never got Logan into any trouble; nobody gave a shit so neither did he. Veronica gave in to a slight smile, almost against her own damn will. If there was one thing she always liked about Logan, it was his down home charm. And the fact that he could admit when he knew he was wrong, unlike so many others.

"I'm sorry, Logan. This past year's been hell on me too and I was just clinging to Duncan like he was some sort of lifeboat…" Logan immediately softened. Of course, Veronica's shit was worse than his. Her mother had _died_, for fuck's sake. Logan glanced around at the empty quad. Class had started several minutes ago. If there was one thing he always liked about Veronica, it was her willingness to not play by the rules. To beg forgiveness later rather than ask permission first. That, and her hot ass.

"I'm sorry, Ronnie, I'm sure it's been hard for you. I was just blindsided right now… I always liked your mother." Logan didn't really know what to say. His mom was gone, but she wasn't dead. That he knew of, at least. Jesus. Surely he could find her if he really felt like it someday. Veronica could help, even. She was sort of an amateur sleuth, which her father fully encouraged and supported.

"I know," she said softly, mentally punching herself to keep her light blue eyes from tearing up. "I always liked her too." And that was just about that saddest fucking thing Logan Echolls had ever heard-in a lifetime of sad things. Without warning, he took two steps forward and enveloped tiny little Veronica in his arms. She cried out in surprise at first but then gave into the hug. Duncan watched it all from his second floor classroom window but he was too doped up on high levels of SSRIs to truly care. Duncan had always felt all alone inside, even as a kid and even when surrounded by people (which he usually was). The only emotion he had ever felt was anger, and the antidepressants helped with that. Anything to take his mind off his mind… His mother agreed. If only Celeste Kane could get Lilly to see things her way and finally have the perfect little Stepford children she'd always wanted. If she'd actually wanted children and, let's get real, Celeste was never cut out to be a mom.

"Hi, Dad, um, you remember Logan?" God, Veronica, she silently scolded herself. It wasn't that long ago that Logan Echolls was swimming in their pool.

Keith looked slightly shocked to see the brown-eyed boy sitting in their living room but he recovered smoothly with a grin, "Of course I do, Veronica. Logan, how've you been?"

Logan wasn't sure how to take the mayor's kind words and friendly smile. If anything, they made him shrink farther down inside himself. He had to say something, had to be polite. "Hi, Mr. Mars." There, that ought to cover it.

"How're you doing, Logan?" Shit, what was with the full-court press?

"Oh, you know, living the dream," Logan bullshitted. "How are you, sir?"

When Keith left, Veronica rubbed Logan's arm soothingly. It was the second time they'd touched in as many days but this time she initiated it. "You don't have to be scared of my dad, Logan. He's one of the good guys." And she smiled too.

"Don't take it personally, Ronnie. I'm pretty much scared of everyone's dad." He played it off like a joke but shit if she didn't look at him with some sort of morbid concern.

"How's _your _dad, Logan?" Fuck.

"Honestly," Logan began honestly, "we don't see each other that much. He's off doing his own thing."

"How's he handling your mom being gone?"

"By fucking a bunch of random women." 'Just like before she was gone,' Logan added to himself. He tried to smile at Veronica so she knew that this was supposed to be some sort of joke too but she just frowned expectantly.

"What," Logan sighed, his rare good mood evaporating.

Veronica hesitated but if she had something important to say she didn't say it now. "Nothing, I just worry about you is all. Always all alone…"

"Story of my life."

"I've missed you, Logan."

"I missed you too."


	2. Chapter 2

"Veronica and Logan, two motherless children, wandering through the world all alone."

"Fuck off, Lilly." Veronica was smiling as she said it, though. Lilly had a way of being charming even when she was being a total asshole.

Lilly laughed. "Seriously, though, Veronica what do you see in him?"

"I see myself. I see hope. I see love." Veronica was so very earnest that Lilly couldn't do anything in response except bust out laughing. Veronica laughed in return. "I don't know, Lills, I just like that boy-that's all."

"Hey, you don't have to explain shit to me. I'm just your best friend over here." Lilly seductively moved her eyebrows up and down.

"Your feminine charms don't work on me. I'm immune!" Veronica shrieked as Lilly mercilessly tackled her into onto the bed. "Well, maybe I'm not quite as immune as I thought."

"Well, I'm immune to the Echolls charm," Lilly said breathlessly. "Although, maybe it's just Logan. His dad is smokin' hot." Veronica groaned. "What, Veronica, I'd totally do him."

"Well, even if Mr. Echolls wasn't already a creep on his own, it would definitely be creepy if we dated father and son."

"Are you and Logan DATING?"

"No, Lilly, I was just saying-"

"You were just accidentally voicing your deepest desires… Well, don't worry. I wholeheartedly approve."

Veronica rolled over onto her side, her eyes rolling with her. "Ok, thanks, but I do not approve of you dating Aaron Echolls. And I'm pretty sure your mother would disown you."

"Oh, please, like I would date him. It would just be a little bit of fun."

"He's scary, Lilly. I don't know much about his dad, but I worry about Logan sometimes… He has no one else."

"Well aren't you a sucker for a guy who's been through shit?"

"And you're not?"

"Touché."

888888888888888

Logan didn't really believe in God, but he didn't really begrudge others their beliefs either. He wasn't a militant atheist or anything like that, he just plain didn't give a fuck. He didn't see God anywhere in the world. And yet he had prayed for his father's death more times than he could remember. Lynn would probably come back if Aaron died, but that wasn't the real reason Logan wanted Aaron gone. The hate that tore apart Logan's guts, just growing and growing, making him think that someday his father would be dead at Logan's hand rather than the other way around… That was the real reason. _God, take him please before I do. _In Aaron's line of work, "accidents" happened every day.

Logan worked full-time scooping ice cream for minimum wage… Hey, everybody's gotta start somewhere and his dad certainly wasn't throwing any money Logan's way. Just as Logan was about to take up smoking to have something to do on break other than lose himself in his thoughts, a familiar face appeared in the shop. "Hey man, you got a second?"

"Oh, you're talking to me now?" Logan couldn't help but get bitchy. Duncan had just walked into Ben & Jerry's acting like he owned the place which, Logan grudgingly admitted, he could if he wanted to. But why the fuck would he want to?

"Look, you guys are dead here, can you take a break?" Logan glanced at his co-worker Becky, a Hearst college student who was as bored as he was. If you're bored then you're boring, people's parents sometimes said. Not Logan's parents, but people's. But screw that. It was 6:30 p.m. Nobody wanted ice cream. Everybody wanted real food. Becky shrugged with a smile. She was terminally sweet and shy, even around high school boys. Duncan was already starting to take off, so Logan wiped his hands on his cow-spotted apron and followed him out of the store.

"What's up, man?" Logan sighed. They'd been best friends since they were twelve, when Logan was new in town and no one else wanted to be his friend. Not much had changed since then except now Duncan didn't want him either… Logan never held a grudge like Duncan could. He didn't really know how to administer the silent treatment. He just wanted things to be good again, if they ever were to start with. He was too damn forgiving at times. All times.

"What's up with you and Veronica?"

"That's what you came all the way down here for? Coulda saved yourself a trip. We're just friends-barely."

"But you like her, you always liked her, I could tell."

"So what? You tossed her to the curb like trash and now all of a sudden you care?"

"She's-it's not what you think."

"What?"

"Why I care, it's not what you think. I just-I see her as, like, a sister and I don't want to see her get hurt. Your family is dangerous."

"Yeah, and your real sister's a slut and your mom's a bitch and your dad-"

"And your dad's a psycho!" Duncan punctuated his remark with a shove to Logan's chest.

"Hey, no argument from me there," Logan said but his face was lit up with rage. He didn't want to hit Duncan back. He wasn't sure if he could stop if he started. So he settled for clenching his teeth and his fists.

"And I was just worried-like father like son, you know." Duncan sneered at Logan. Logan briefly wondered if Duncan truly worried about this or if he was just trying to fuck with him. God knows Logan himself had worried about his capacity for violence on more than one occasion.

"Yeah, well, don't worry, I won't hurt her any more than you did."

"I didn't do anything wrong," Duncan countered.

"Oh, you hardly ever do anything at all, do you Donut?"

"Don't call me that!" Duncan yelled. And then, under his breath, "Fucking Lilly."

"Don't come to my place of work and threaten me!"

"Your 'place of work'?"

"Oh, fuck you rich boy. Some people have jobs, you know?"

"Yeah, I heard about that. Some people also steal cars when they're fourteen and almost get thrown into juvie but their best friend's dad helps get them a deal…"

"Right, I almost forgot. The time you helped me just to throw it in my face later. I thanked your dad. I don't owe you anything."

Duncan scoffed and started kicking at the sidewalk with the heel of his shoe. "Whatever, Logan, honestly I just came here today to say be good to her."

"First of all, nothing's happening. Secondly, if that's what you came here to say then why didn't you just fucking say it?"

"I don't know." Duncan sighed, his anger fading away into the ether. "Sometimes I'm just so pissed at you."

"For my family? For shit I can't help?" Logan's anger was omnipresent.

"No, for no reason. I really don't know. I was just mad at everyone for a while, especially my friends… I just hate that we grew apart."

That was pretty much all Logan needed to hear before he reached into his pocket and pulled out a flask. He politely passed it to Duncan first. "What's in this?" Duncan asked warily.

"Dude, who cares? It's not poison-well, not really. Don't be a pussy." Logan challenged Duncan with a grin. Duncan shrugged and took two deep slugs of the amber liquid. His eyes burned and he coughed, which made Logan laugh.

"I have always been able to drink you under the table, Donut, even when we were twelve. We gotta work on that."


	3. Chapter 3

But there _was_ something going on between them-Veronica and Logan, that is. He could tell she was going out of her way to say hi to him in the halls. She kept inviting him over after school and, how could he possibly say no? She was beautiful, her house was beautiful, her dog was friendly, her dad wasn't crazy… All important and positive things. Sometimes they'd hang out with Duncan too but always at Veronica's place-the Kanes didn't want Logan on their property and he didn't want to be on his own property either (which wasn't really Aaron's property anyway; it was just a dump of a rental). Logan started calling in sick to work to sit around with Veronica and do nothing. He slowly became relaxed just being at the Mars estate. They had pictures of her mom still around, he noticed. The framed glossies of Lianne smiling like she had no care in the world… They were almost cruel to look at. There were no pictures of Logan's mom at his place-there were pretty much no pictures of anyone, full stop, and never had been. It wasn't really their thing. After all, they moved apartments a lot.

"Logan, what're you thinking about?" Veronica asked jovially, her eyes lit up like this was some sort of game.

"How good your legs look in that skirt," Logan said, no hesitation. Veronica blushed, just a little, and shifted her weight on the couch in an effort to achieve more modesty.

She changed the subject. "So, I'm sort of working a case, not with the cops but kinda on the side, for my dad?" The whole sentence sounded like one big question. This was the way girls sometimes talked when they were nervous, Logan realized. He sat up straighter on the couch, his expression puzzled.

"Ok… How's that going?"

"Good except we're a little stuck on something right now and I was wondering if you could help." She spit the words out like they were on fire. Logan did not like where this was going at all.

"Ok…" He said again. _Get to your point already and please let that point be that you want to have sex with me, right here right now._

"So, your dad, does he ever talk to you about what he does, I mean, um, for a living?"

"Well, if he did, I would hardly tell the mayor's daughter. In fact, you'd be the next to last person I'd tell, right ahead of Sheriff Lamb." Veronica wrinkled her nose at the sheriff's name.

"Well, it was just a shot in the dark. I just thought maybe he had asked for your help or he told you something about the Fitzpatricks-"

"Veronica, I am an ice cream scooper. I take the fucking city bus to work, as my dad is so fond of reminding me. You think if I were helping him, maybe there would be a few more perks involved?"

"No, Logan, I didn't mean it like that! Look, we're not trying to hurt your dad. We're trying to get something hard on the guys he works for now. Now, maybe I could come over to your place someday after school…" Logan felt like he'd been stabbed through the heart. When exactly did Veronica start this case and did it happen to coincide with her deciding to be his friend again? Was she just using him… Yeah, that was probably it. You dumb fucking sucker. Always getting played for a fool.

"No, you can't come over and you'll stay away if you know what's good for you." At Veronica's shocked expression, Logan leaped off the stupid expensive designer sofa and darted out the front door. Veronica was supposed to drive him home later, but walking the few miles toward the ghetto (as he lovingly thought of home) might set his head straight-or it could make everything a million times worse. Why was he always paying for things he didn't even do? Even the stupid car he stole, you think he wanted to do that? That was the last time he ever "helped" his dad at the expense of his own record. He could sit outside in a car, pretend he didn't know some bad shit was most likely going down, but Logan was no criminal. Most of the time he just wanted out in the most painless way possible.

Without thinking, Logan stopped dead in the street not far from Veronica's house, popped his cell phone out of his pocket and pushed speed dial number 3. "Hey, man, you want to get out of here? I'm thinking TJ?"

Duncan, recently off his meds, was all of a sudden up for anything and more. "Fuck yeah, man, where are you? I'll pick you up right now."


	4. Chapter 4

Duncan drove carefully back from Tijuana, only slightly worse for the wear. All booze, no drugs. That makes us good kids, Duncan thought. Duncan wasn't strictly supposed to mix his seizure meds with alcohol but he had long ago stopped caring after the first few times it didn't kill him. He glanced over at Logan, who was sleeping silently with his seat heavily reclined. Duncan sighed. They had been nearly inseparable for over four years and now he felt like he didn't know the guy. And it was all his fault. Logan stirred. "Hey, we stateside again?"

"Yeah, we'll be home in a few." Home. A vague concept if there ever was one. "You want to hit up a Starbucks or something? I feel like I didn't sleep all night."

"You didn't, man. That's the point. But sure." Logan fingered the flask that was in his right pants pocket but he didn't take it out for fear that Duncan would think he had A Problem. Like mother, like son. But he so desperately wanted just a little more-just a little more buzz. The hair of the dog that bit you and all that. Although even with the hangovers, Logan never felt like alcohol bit him. Like Backup, it was always his friend. And he knew it helped Duncan feel better too.

"How's Lilly?" Logan non sequitured. Logan was never really comfortable with silence, even when he was home alone in bed. And even with Duncan back in his life, Logan still wasn't seeing much of his first crush. So, how was Lilly?

"She's good. Can't wait to graduate. She's a little pissed you've been stealing so much of Veronica's time lately."

"Yeah, well, I guess she'll be happy that that's over before it began."

"What happened?"

Logan paused. Whatever his current feelings about Veronica, she had talked to him about her case because she trusted him and he couldn't betray that trust to anyone. "I don't know. Same shit, different day. I'll never be good enough…"

"Aw, c'mon, don't be like that. You're good enough for me." With that, Duncan winked sarcastically at Logan who groaned, produced his flask of whiskey and began to drink.

"Remind me to dump the rest of this in my Starbucks," Logan said as Duncan raised his eyebrows. "What, man? I'm not the one who was puking in a public fountain last night."

"Did I?" Logan nodded. "Oh shit, man, I can't even fucking remember that. Did I drink more after that? I may still be drunk."

"Quick: say the alphabet backwards."

"Z, y,…" Duncan paused.

"Ok, dude, if you can't come up with 'x' it is time for you to let go of the heavy machinery. Alright, pull over," Logan ordered before taking another swig. "I've always wanted to drive this baby anyway."

Duncan protectively squeezed his hands tighter around the steering wheel of his black on black Range Rover. "No way, dude. I've seen how you drive."

"I just need some more practice." Duncan pulled over to get coffee, but not to let Logan drive.

"I agree. Somewhere with like training wheels and bumper bowling and no other cars around." A few minutes later, Duncan slowed the car in front of Logan's apartment building, which had the asinine distinction of being named after some lady named Beverly. Keeping it classy. Logan hopped out of the car with nothing more than his wallet, his sunglasses, his trusty flask that he had in fact stolen from his mother and a cup of coffee he'd recently made Irish. God, Logan needed to get inside and brush his teeth. As soon as Duncan peeled off, Logan ran smack into Aaron who was standing outside the building and finishing up a call on his cell phone.

"Good news, son. We're moving." Aaron didn't ask where he'd been all night or mention if he'd noticed Duncan's car. Or even tell Logan he smelled like alcohol, which he most certainly did. Aaron was officially in what passed for a good mood. Logan glanced around at the actual honest-to-goodness movers who were hauling the Echolls' meager assets into their truck. Never before had Logan moved without breaking his own back. He glanced at his father. Logan's eyes were full of suspect.

"Why? What's going on? Who's paying for this?" That last question might have been one too many.

"Who do you fucking think?" Logan stared at his dad blankly, so Aaron gave him a little shove. "Me, you little shit. I came into some money and we're moving on up." _To the East side, _Logan added silently. He stopped himself before he began humming.

"Great," Logan replied, with forced jocularity-so forced that it could easily be mistaken for sarcasm. "Where are we going?"

"I don't know, just had to get the hell out of this shithole. Right now we're going to be staying at the Neptune Grand until further notice and our shit is going into storage so kiss it all goodbye." Logan made a mental note to try to save his CDs and books.

"So... we're sharing a hotel room?"

"It's a suite, Logan. You got a problem with that?" Logan immediately shook his head. "When I was your age, I would have killed for my old man to do something like this for me. 'Course, I already lived on my own and the son of a bitch was already dead-"

"But, Dad, it's kind of expensive there, isn't it?" Aaron looked at his son through dark as coal eyes.

"If I say we can afford it, we can. Don't worry, I won't come calling for your pitiful hundred bucks a week." Aaron laughed like this was hilarious and Logan just stood there. He actually made about two hundred bucks a week but, at this point, it was just arguing semantics. What the fuck was happening to his life? And even when Aaron was being "nice" and generous, he was still so objectionable that Logan had half a mind to help Veronica out in whatever way he could. Whether she was using him or not, at least she was fun to be around… Mostly.

"Tell your friends to come by when we've settled in. I haven't seen 'em in a while... Whatever happened to that Lilly Kane? You guys still friends?"

Logan knew his dad was pretending to be friendly-asking questions that a father would ask-because he was excited about the move, but nothing could disguise the lechery in Aaron's voice when he brought up Lilly. Logan shrugged his shoulders and said nothing, which was his dad's number one pet peeve about him-how Logan would just shrug and stare at his shoes instead of answering a damn question.

"What's that, Logan? I didn't hear you."

"We're not really friends anymore, Dad. She's a senior and she's graduating and going to college, so..."

"Well, still, have her over anyway. Isn't it about time you two reconnected?"


	5. Chapter 5

Logan knocked on Veronica's front door before turning around to get the hell out of here. 'What are you doing?' he muttered to himself under his breath. But then he had to stop talking to himself because Veronica had yanked the heavy door open and was staring at him like she'd seen a ghost. Really, it hadn't been that long since they'd hung out…

"Logan? I thought you didn't want to talk to me anymore."

"I'm sorry, Ronnie," he said immediately. After all, nobody could apologize for not doing anything wrong like Logan could. It was a personality trait he had unwittingly perfected over time. Logan didn't even know how to follow up his apology since he didn't really know what he was apologizing for. Veronica motioned for him to come inside, but her eyes still held a wary expression.

Veronica's place was nowhere near what the Kane's house was but it was still ten times bigger than anywhere Logan had ever lived and it was cozy without being cluttered. It just felt like a person's home should feel. She ushered Logan inside as he seemed unable to move on his own.

"Logan, what's up?" Her tone was warmish and friendly. Clearly, she was aiming for no hard feelings and that's all he could hope for.

Logan couldn't even put how he felt about Veronica into language-he was afraid it wouldn't make sense to anyone else. So he just stammered: "You can come over, I mean, if you still want to. We don't live at Beverly anymore though…"

"I know."

"Oh, ah, how do you know that? Did Duncan tell you?"

"I'm stalking you." She was so deadpan that he couldn't tell if it was the truth or not. Logan wouldn't really mind if Veronica Mars of all people were stalking him and he wouldn't put it past her either.

"Well, how can you be stalking me if I'm stalking you?" He laughed a little before regaining composure, something Veronica usually had in spades. "So you know we're at the Grand then, I guess?"

"Yeah, how's that going?"

"Good, uh, fine, we don't really have much stuff there though. Well, I don't really have anything and my dad only has a few things… Everything's in storage."

"Where's that?"

"Ronnie, I know you're trying to be casual but I'll take you to the storage facility too if you want."

"Thanks. You know I'm not out to hurt your dad."

"Uh huh."

"But… At the same time, I don't see why you feel the need to protect him sometimes."

Logan started to get angry in spite of himself. It was his misguided loyalty tick acting up again. What gave Veronica the right to say things like that? He took a deep breath. "You know whatever you're doing has the potential to put my dad in jail, whether that's the goal or not? He could get caught in the crossfire. And I'm helping you anyway-without asking questions. And where exactly does that leave me?" _I trust you, I love you, just don't hurt me._

"But I thought…"

"What that he's an asshole, that I hate him? Yes and yes, but I don't have anything else… He's still my father."

"What he's done to you…"

"I don't remember ever telling you anything about me and my dad so you really have no idea what you're talking about. Whatever Duncan may have told you, I'm sure he exaggerated. Don't go being dramatic, Veronica. Just because not everyone's Keith Mars doesn't mean they're the Son of Sam."

"Logan, I'm sorry, ok? Let's back up. When can we hang out?"

"Sometime late at night when Aaron's sure not to be there? I'll call you." With that, Logan stomped off-inadvertently allowing one single look of regret to flash across his face. Luckily his back was to her. Veronica could never understand his life and he didn't expect her to. It's not like he understood hers... Aaron had started to make more money than they'd ever had before-so much that he was actually being generous with it to his son-and Logan really didn't want to know how he was making it. Aaron was exactly the type of bastard who would probably happily kill for free, but was even happier to get paid for it. There were a few things Veronica had always been able to understand though… In a way. His mother, her mother… The struggles were so similar, the disappointments and the love cut so deep. Logan just didn't have a decent father to balance that shit out. But Goddamnit if Aaron didn't sometimes feel like all he had left. He would tell himself he had Veronica; he had Duncan. But they could be gone in the blink of an eye. Sick as it was, Aaron was the only person in Logan's life who had never completely physically abandoned him, for better or for worse.

Two days later, Veronica arrived at the Neptune Grand after Aaron went out around 9:30 p.m. The place was opulent but Veronica worried about the fact that Logan and his seemingly violent father were confined to one hotel suite. To Logan's great surprise, Veronica didn't immediately investigate… Whatever exactly she needed to investigate. Instead they started talking. About school-her grades were good, his weren't. About Duncan and Lilly… About other easy stuff, when all of a sudden: "Did your mom ever try to quit?"

Veronica was caught off guard by Logan's question but hardly lost her stride. "No not seriously, I don't think. Dad wanted her to go into rehab but I think she decided she'd rather die." Veronica cleared her throat, realizing those words carried more weight than she meant for them to. "Did yours?"

"Yes once, and she took me away to Chicago to stay with my grandma. I was about ten. She said we had to leave L.A. and get a fresh start but we went back a few months later and then a year or so after that we were in Neptune."

Veronica waited to make sure Logan was done speaking before she spoke up. He hardly ever shared stuff like this with her, but she figured he thought it was common ground. "You guys left your dad?"

"Yep. She said she couldn't get sober around him. Guess I get it 'cause I can't either…" Supposed to be a joke, but didn't play like one. Logan had a habit of doing that. Veronica just looked at him with concern and realized that the coke Logan was drinking probably had an extra kick. She cursed herself for being naive. "Anyway, she started drinking and taking her pills again right after we went back to L.A. We lived in this really bad neighborhood, you know? I was getting beat up-by the other kids-all the time, she had no friends, my dad was pissed off. She just couldn't get happy."

"Yeah, I think that was my mom's problem too. She just couldn't get happy. She tried a lot of different things but alcohol was her favorite drug. It's why I don't really drink, you know? Don't get me wrong, I've had a few drinks… I've had a really bad experience with a few drinks. I mean, my dad's not a drunk but I feel like it's half in my blood and I never want to be like that."

"I know what you mean except I drink all the time. But I swear, if I ever have kids, I won't be like that around them." Veronica nodded in solemn agreement. "I mean, God save me if I ever have kids but if I do I won't treat them like shit. It won't be their fault I brought them into this world. Anyway, my dad's not really a drunk either so I guess you and I are both 50/50." Keith did barely drink and even Aaron was pretty sober save for the occasional rage-filled bender. Life was Aaron's drug-but in a scary rather than cheesy way.

"What does your mom do, I mean for a living? I can't believe I never knew this but I don't think I did."

"She was a waitress mostly, but I'm not sure what she's up to these days… She used to miss a lot of shifts, got fired from a bunch of jobs. I'd have to pretend to be my dad and call her in sick… Your mom was a nurse, right?"

"Yes, up until about a month before she died. She used to be sort of functional, you know? She'd work crazy shifts, but only three nights a week, and then the rest of the time she'd be halfway down a bottle. You know the drill. I should have seen something coming when she quit her job. Logan, she loved what she did. It was almost everything to her. When she was depressed, it would pick her up. To just quit, just like that… It's like how people give away their possessions when they're planning on killing themselves. It's like nothing matters anymore and they can't see the point of living." Veronica blinked back the tears welling up in her eyes. _What is so great about living?_

"Ronnie, hey, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up. I know how much she meant to you."

"_Means_ to me," Veronica corrected. "I still can't let her go." With that, she started full blown sobbing and Logan knew he had to hug her before it was too late. She cried into his chest and he rubbed the back of her neck and they just sat like that on the Neptune Grand carpet for what seemed like days.

Veronica finally pulled slowly away and rubbed her eyes, slightly smudging her mascara. "It's okay, though, Logan. I'm glad you brought it up. I like remembering her even though it hurts and no one ever asks anymore. My dad can't talk about it… Other people are scared about how I'll react. It's not their fault but I just can't keep it all inside."

"I understand."

"You do? Then talk to me more. Tell me how you feel. I don't judge; I just want you to know that I'm your friend. I promise, no matter what."

"I don't- it's harder for me to talk about things than it is for you, I think. I don't know why, it just is. But hey, I'll tell you what, get me drunk tonight and I'll tell you all my darkest secrets: where the bodies are buried, what happened to those settlers in Roanoke, I'll explain the Da Vinci Code…"

Veronica rolled her eyes. "I need you to know I'm serious. I want to know everything about you. And if you try to get drunk, I won't try to stop you. Like I said, I don't judge."

"My mom always told me how hard it was to quit."

"Mine too. She told me to never start."

"And she was right… What's that group for children of alcoholics?"

"Al-Anon. And there's a teen one too. My dad had me go a few times."

"Really? Well you don't need it 'cause we can always have little informal sessions, just the two of us. It can even get sexy. But it has to remain anonymous."

"Did you know our moms used to be friends, when you first moved here?"

"No." Logan's eyebrows shot up with interest. "I didn't think my mom had too many friends."

"Well mine either and I don't know how they met but your mother was at our house a few times, just hanging out with my mom, not my dad. I kind of spied on them a little. What? They seemed so beautiful, so grown up and I was jealous."

"And what did you see?"

"You know, what you'd expect. They just sat around drinking wine or vodka, smoking on the patio sometimes, laughing. I think they bonded over the fact that their husbands didn't want to drink with them."

"Yeah, that'll do it."

"Lynn and Lianne," Veronica sighed. "A friendship built around booze."

"There have been worse."

"Oh for sure. For example, ours was built around Duncan at first."

"Hey, Duncan might have been my first friend here but I liked you from the moment I laid eyes on you."

"Bullshit."

"Language! We're in a classy establishment now." Logan got up to mix himself another drink. He thought about offering Veronica one but then just as quickly thought against it and handed her a can of coke. "I had dreams about you in that soccer uniform for months…"

"We were twelve!"

"Exactly! Twelve, not dead."

"Are you saying you've wanted me since we were twelve?" Veronica didn't know where she was getting the courage to say this. She also wasn't even quite sure why she was flirting with Logan Echolls. I mean, he was good-looking but he had always been. Why was she feeling something for him now?

"Well, you might have been thirteen…" Logan paused to chuckle at Veronica's inexplicably pissed off expression. Ah, older women. "But I really liked you then and I really like you now. I'll always really like you, Ronnie."

Without warning, Veronica leaned over Logan's lap and started passionately kissing him, her hand shooting out to grab the back of his neck. After a millisecond of surprise, Logan found himself kissing back. He leaned backward on the floor, dragging her with him so she was flat on top of him. It was all moving so quickly and… Logan heard the unmistakable sound of the hotel key pinging in the door. Quickly, Logan grabbed Veronica and dashed into his room with her, attempting to shut her in the closet.

"Logan, why?" Veronica all but mouthed the words at him she was whispering so softly. She hadn't even heard the door open, so lost was she in her own desires.

"Do you really want to hang out with my dad right now?" Logan whispered back and Veronica instantly shook her head no and slinked back into the closet. At the mention of Aaron, she only just now realized that she had been so wrapped up in Logan she hadn't bothered to look around for any clues relating to the Fitzpatricks. She had planned on picking anything locked in Aaron's bedroom. Oh well, she'd have to come back.

Logan couldn't decide whether to shut his door and stay in his bedroom or approach Aaron and see what kind of mood he was in when he heard his name being called out from the "living room." Logan sighed and trudged back out to the main area of the hotel suite to see what was on Aaron's mind. He hoped it was nothing.

"Hey Dad." It was only a little after midnight and there was a more and more familiar glint to Aaron's eye-like he had just done something horrible and was just bursting to tell someone about it. There was a disgusting level of pride emanating out of his pores. If only Veronica had thought to bug their hotel room… Shit, he hoped she wouldn't really do that. And he hoped Aaron wouldn't really tell him what he'd been up to. "How was your night?"

"Do you really want to know, son?" Aaron stopped to scoop Logan's drink off the floor and smell the whiskey that occupied ninety percent of the glass. Whiskey and a splash of coke. Logan cringed. His dad didn't usually get mad about shit that bothered regular parents-normally, Aaron couldn't be bothered with whether Logan attended school or kept his room clean. As long as Logan stayed out of his way... But drinking was the one thing. Maybe because it made him think of Lynn. Aaron despised chronic drunkenness and looked at it as a major character flaw. _You don't want to end up like your mother, do you boy? _

When Aaron didn't say anything though, Logan said, just for the sake of keeping things civil: "Sure I want to know."

Aaron looked at his son as though he were seeing him for the first time. "Ok." Pause. "I just put a sick dog out of its misery."

Logan didn't know what to say but he tried not to betray any emotion. He wanted to throw up. So he didn't say anything.

"It's noble work, Logan, and not everybody's cut out for it." Logan forced himself to nod like he agreed or even understood at all. "You, for example, couldn't handle it. You are too damn much like your mother." With that, Aaron took the drink he was still holding and tossed the liquid and near-melted ice at Logan, drenching his face and torso. Aaron slammed the glass down on the table. "You need to be in control of yourself, Logan. Like me." Logan just nodded again, appreciating the irony of the situation and also wondering how much his hair would still smell of alcohol tomorrow.

"Alright," Aaron said after an eternity of silence. "I've gotta grab a few things and then I'm heading back out for a minute. If you're drunk, I don't want to see you when I get home or there'll be hell to pay. Find somewhere else to sleep, you got it?" When Logan didn't respond verbally, Aaron caught him upside the head. "I don't have time for this right now. I said, you got it?"

"Sure, great, I'll just show up at someone's house in the middle of the night." Logan couldn't help but try to antagonize his father sometimes when there was no other option left.

"Sleep in the fucking street for all I care." With that, Aaron picked up the black duffel he had entered the room with and headed down the hallway to the master bedroom-he was still full of raging pride. Logan took a breath for the first time in what felt like minutes. He wanted to pour himself another drink but he'd settle for dunking his face in the sink before he had to see Veronica again. Logan was finally starting to realize and accept that there were no limits to his father's capabilities and anyone who got in his way could probably be put down like a rabid animal. Aaron was a psychopath and it seemed like someone had just given him the keys to the kingdom. Jesus, when did life get so fucking hard?


	6. Chapter 6

A few minutes after Aaron left for good, a shirtless Logan opened the closet door to retrieve Veronica. "Sorry," he said, motioning to his naked torso. "I got something on my shirt and my other shirts are in this closet." Veronica looked freaked out, but certainly not by that.

"Is your dad gone?"

"Yeah, of course. Sorry about the closet. I just didn't want to subject you to him… He might have tried to hit on you or something." Veronica gave an involuntary shudder.

"Did you take a shower?" Logan's hair looked freshly washed but the closer she got Veronica realized it reeked of alcohol not shampoo.

"Kind of. But just with water. And a sink. So not really."

"Did he throw something on you? Alcohol? Logan, don't be embarrassed, it's just you left the bedroom door open-I could hear what was going on out there." Shit. Logan had really hoped that "sick dog" business was for his ears only.

"Well, don't take anything he said too seriously. He just… says stuff sometimes." Logan struggled to find words as he threw on a fresh t-shirt with his back to Veronica. She noticed his back had a few scars, like maybe someone had been playing tic tac toe with a cigarette or letting loose with a belt. She had seen some of them before but she knew this wasn't the time to bring it up-only her internal filter was shutting down. "But we do have to get you out of here," Logan continued, breaking through her thoughts.

"What about you?"

"Yeah, me too. Duncan- I used to climb in his window at night sometimes. I'd say I'm coming over and he'd disable the alarm, but his parents can't find me there…"

"Why? Why did you used to sneak into Duncan's at night?"

"Oh, you didn't know about our secret love affair?" Logan asked mirthlessly. "You know the real reason why, Veronica. Don't make me say this shit." Logan's dark eyes got darker. For a second, he looked uncannily like his father. "Look, I can't be here when he gets back either so let's get going."

"I'll drive you anywhere you need to go or you can stay with me?" It was one of those damn statements that came out like an uncertain question.

"I can't; I'd love to but your dad..."

"I'll explain things to him."

"And what exactly would you say?"

"That you had a fight with your dad and you have nowhere else to go. Sound good? Just take one of the guest rooms. I don't want you sleeping on the beach."

Logan smiled for the first time since his dad had come home. "Ok, let me get my toothbrush. I've made that mistake too many times." And I'm going to need my flask, Logan decided, pocketing it sight unseen by Veronica. As much as he hated to prove his dad right, sometimes Logan knew that to his core he was just a good for nothing drunk. And he was just getting started. It was the only thing that helped muddle his mind-which sounded like a bad thing but Logan knew from experience wasn't always.

Logan took his time "getting his toothbrush" because he also had to fill up his flask and he knew Veronica needed to call her dad. Keith Mars was probably waking up right now, frantically realizing that his daughter wasn't home, thinking something was wrong. Well, wasn't something always wrong? Since the beginning of fucking time.

Logan had a delayed realization that they had school tomorrow and he should probably pack his books but then, looking around, saw that he hadn't even brought them home with him in the first place. How Logan was managing to pass all his classes was beyond him. He looked at the clock and sighed. He and Veronica weren't going to get very much sleep, not that they would have anyway. He hesitated in the doorway of his bedroom to see if Veronica was off the phone. With all her might, she beamed at him and declared, "Let's go!"

They took a silent elevator ride down to the lobby and found Veronica's yellow Xterra in the parking lot-inconspicuous as ever. "It'll be ok," she suddenly felt like saying as she grabbed Logan's hand across the gearshift.

He took her hand but kept looking down. Softly, so softly that she could barely hear: "It's never ok."

888888888888888

Veronica had promised to explain to her dad why Logan had to stay over last night but right now she needed coffee and a donut.

"Logan still asleep?" Keith asked neutrally.

"Yeah, I think he takes about five seconds to get ready though so we should be good. He's not used to getting a ride either…" Veronica gulped down some coffee, continued to make smallish talk and didn't look her dad in the eye.

"Sweetie, is everything ok with Logan? You can tell me. I care about him too. He's a good kid-most of the time."

Veronica laughed a little, but mostly out of nervous energy. "I don't know what I'm allowed to say here, Dad, to be totally honest. But I know you know what Aaron Echolls is like. And that's pretty much all there is to it." She finally looked up at her father, wondering if her vague answer would suffice.

"That kid's had a hard life, no doubt. Tell him he can stay here when he needs it but, Veronica, and I mean this… Back off of Aaron and the Fitzpatricks." Veronica audibly protested this. "I mean it, this is getting too dangerous and I can't allow you to get put in the middle of it."

"Do you know some things that I don't know?"

"I know enough to know that if Aaron's as dangerous as I think he is, the people he's working for-God only knows. Leave it to the police force."

"Sheriff Lamb? Please, I wouldn't let him get my kitten out of a tree."

"I think that's the fire department, honey, and we don't have a cat."

"It's not the cat, it's the principle of the cat."

"Veronica, seriously, you think Logan's going to be ok?"

"I don't know, Dad. But we probably should stop talking about it-he might come downstairs any minute... And thank you."

Keith never said you're welcome. He always just said: "Any time." And he meant it.

The drive into school was mostly silent. "You need somewhere to sleep again tonight?" Veronica finally asked as they pulled into the Neptune High parking lot.

"No, I'm sure it's fine. I would need to get more clothes and stuff... He's kicked me out before and I can always go back the next day." Veronica decided to let that slide without direct comment.

"Ok, well let me know if you ever need anything… You know, my dad likes you."

"Yeah, I got that. I just can't figure out why."

"Me neither," Veronica joked with a sly smile. "Maybe he just trusts my judgment."

"Are you saying that you like me?"

"You know by now that I like you." She hesitated before steeling herself to continue. "It was wrong of me to take advantage of our friendship in order to help with my case. I'm sorry."

"No, it's ok. I still want to help. You heard him…" Logan got out of the car, bookless and full of anxiety but trying not to show it. He spoke quietly and through clenched teeth. "He's up to no good. I don't even care anymore. We have to stop them from hurting people."

"Logan… My dad said it could get really dangerous. He's worried-about both of us."

"I am too," Logan answered honestly. He was usually honest, until you pushed him. "But whatever they're doing-it's not right. And it's probably worse than anything we could begin to imagine."


	7. Chapter 7

Veronica, Logan, and Duncan were apparently all Future Business Leaders of America. Veronica knew why she and Duncan were there: to pad their resumes for college. But she really had no idea why Logan came-maybe just to have something to occupy his time and to hang out with his friends. Regardless, the three of them still sat and ate after last period in a near empty classroom, listening to their faculty advisor happily drone on about economics.

"What's with you guys?" Duncan asked, barely even trying to lower his voice.

"We didn't get much sleep last night," Veronica said, instantly kicking herself for using the word we.

"Well, that's usually what happens if you do it right," Duncan attempted to joke. The look on Logan's face stopped him short.

"Don't, man. I had problems with Aaron and had to sleep at Veronica's-in a separate bed, in a separate room."

"You know you can still come to my place," Duncan immediately offered, looking just a little bit hurt.

Logan softened and said, "I know. I appreciate it. I just didn't want to get you in trouble. Keith said it was ok for me to sleep there."

Duncan nodded. That did sound easier than sneaking in his bedroom window, but wasn't the mayor known for asking questions? Besides, he knew his dad still liked Logan deep down and didn't want anything bad to happen to him. It was just his mom could be so overpowering... Like mother, like daughter. Like father, like son. "Is everything cool now?"

"Sure. I've had much worse." Duncan nodded again, remembering some of the bad times. Duncan wasn't allowed to talk about it to anyone; he couldn't even bring it up to Logan. It was a sacred bond in their friendship that he wouldn't break. He knew Logan would never speak to him again if he did. Suddenly, almost out of nowhere, Logan asked, "How's Lilly?" She had been on the back of his mind for days now-not in the old, fun way but in a new way that had him worried.

"Um, I think she's ok, why do you ask?"

"Oh, nothing, my dad just said she should stop by sometime." Logan looked at Duncan straight on, trying to convey the seriousness of his words but Duncan was way ahead of him…

"Well, I'll make sure she doesn't then." Logan nodded, though he was mostly thinking 'sure, like anyone could ever stop Lilly Kane from doing anything.' Veronica sat on the other side of Logan from Duncan, taking everything in silently. Before they knew it, the club meeting was over and Veronica and Logan hopped into her car to drive over to Aaron's storage facility. Life was about to get interesting.

"It's not a big deal, Veronica, really. He did give me a key after all so it's not like we're breaking in."

"I know, but your dad's not an idiot. He'll be suspicious if he sees me here so we just have to be careful." Logan shrugged and unlocked the ugly orange garage locker. Inside was most of their crappy stuff that Aaron had for one reason or another elected to save. Maybe he knew just as sure as Logan did that nothing lasts forever. Their extremely nouveau riche status was as transient as the wind. Logan stepped around the hideous threadbare couch that they'd had since the nineties. And it was probably used when they got it. Or "used" as in stolen. He kicked at a wicker chair with disinterest until he came upon his father's desk with the very big-and very locked-center drawer.

"I've never looked in here before," _because he would have killed me._ "I'm sure he wouldn't leave anything important here, though. We should probably try the hotel," Logan started, nervously watching as Veronica's eyes widened with something resembling delight. "Ronnie, hey…"

But she wasn't listening and had her fancy lock pick set out of its little black case. She had the desk lock picked in under five seconds, muttering something under her breath about amateurs. Logan wasn't sure what exactly she was hoping to find: a signed confession to murder by Liam Fitzpatrick, bloody gloves previously worn by Aaron, a loaded gun covered in fingerprints and illegally obtained… Hell, he wasn't sure what he expected to find but he certainly didn't expect this. There was only one thing in the drawer. Veronica staggered backwards a few steps, eyes straining in the dim storage locker light. In her left hand she held a glass jar, just a little bigger than a mason jar, filled with some kind of clear liquid: alcohol, formaldehyde… Logan didn't immediately know because it was tightly sealed. And floating in the liquid, taking up basically the entire jar, was an unmistakable object-even as it was puffy and a little bit gray.

"What the fuck is your father doing with a human hand in a fucking jar?"


	8. Chapter 8

Lilly knew what she was doing wasn't right, but Lilly had never been much for doing the right thing just for the sake of it. She looked down at her cell: Veronica was calling again. Lilly sighed and pushed ignore. The last thing she needed was little miss goody two shoes judging her right now. Veronica needed to start living a little, Jesus. Take some motherfucking risks or you may as well just die, that was Lilly's M.O.

Lilly knocked on the solid wood door of an unfamiliar hotel room. Aaron Echolls answered in a minute, puzzlement and impatience clouding his dark eyes. "Can Logan come out to play?" Lilly asked like a six year old. She grinned slyly up at her old friend's dad.

"I'm sorry, Lilly. Logan's not home right now."

"Good," Lilly said, her eyes never leaving Aaron's face as she forced her way right on in. Aaron looked surprised and yet obviously happy by this turn of events.

"I was just telling Logan you should come by sometime…"

"I know. My brother told me. I think he was trying to warn me to stay at home. Stupid Donut."

"You been seeing much of Logan lately?"

"Well, he used to get me free ice cream but I think he got fired."

"Oh, did he?" Aaron really didn't keep tabs on his son's life.

"Yeah, that's why I thought he might be at home. But I'm glad he's not… Enough about Logan, how're you doing, Mr. Echolls?" Lilly was an expert at appealing to people's vanities.

"Please, call me Aaron."

"Ok, Aaron."

"And I'm just fine, sweetheart."

"You look just fine."

"You come here for some reason in particular, Lilly? I can, uh, tell my son you stopped by." Lilly stepped into Aaron's personal space, her body pressed right up against his.

"I came to do this." And with that, she kissed him, something she had always wanted to do whether the man was the scum of the earth or not. Without a second thought or even a first one, Aaron picked Lilly up in his arms and carried her over to the couch. This was his lucky day, but women of all ages had always wanted Aaron Echolls… Aaron worked quickly. Things were beginning to get started when the door opened again. Lilly and Aaron sat straight up and automatically took their hands off each other, like two teenagers caught by the cops or something. Logan tossed his room key on the table.

"Logan, where have you been?" Aaron demanded, trying to intimidate his son out of focusing on the seventeen-year-old girl currently half-naked on their couch.

"You kicked me out, remember? Anyway, I needed a change of clothes." Logan was talking to Aaron but never took his eyes off Lilly. He needed to know that she was ok.

"Well, welcome home. Looks like Lilly's just stopped by to see you," Aaron said, daring his son with one look to try to contradict him. Aaron sauntered over to the front door (well, the only door), straightening his clothes as he walked. He stopped to pick up the hotel key off the table on the way. "I was just heading out. You kids have fun." He squeezed Logan's shoulder, more than a little bit too hard, but Logan refused to flinch. When Aaron was gone, Logan dead bolted the door behind him. No surprises.

"Thanks for doing this, Lilly."

"No problem. It was my idea. You know I've always wanted to kiss your dad anyway." Logan mimed vomiting. "Anyway, Duncan and Veronica told me not to do it but what the fuck do they know?"

"They were just worried about you."

"They're more worried about you, kid. And with good reason: you look like shit. Don't you ever sleep, shower, eat?"

"Overrated."

"Ah well, I figured if it came down to it, I could always have sex with your dad and get him arrested. You know, DNA evidence and stuff."

"I'm sure he would have used a condom. And oh my God I don't want to talk about this… But I am also pretty sure that's entrapment."

"Who the hell would have to know how it all began? I'm the best liar you've ever met."

"I don't doubt it. You're a special, special person."

"Aw, shucks, when you say it like that I don't feel like you mean it. Let's get this fucking show on the road."

"Don't worry, I'm sure he won't be back for a while. He seemed a little flustered. Good job, by the way."

"I never worry. Jesus said not to."

Logan let that drop without comment, but he gave Lilly a somewhat withering look. The day Lilly turned to Jesus was well… probably the same day Aaron turned to Jesus. And it would be at least one of the signs of the apocalypse. "Lilly, though, really I appreciate you sticking your neck out for me. If I had come back alone, well, he wouldn't have left me alone."

"Dude, as smokin' hot as your dad is, I have always known he was an asshole. So don't you worry about me helping you… I live to serve." Lilly winked at Logan and took off down the hall into Aaron's bedroom. It was more like she lived to walk on the edge.

"So, what are we looking for exactly," she said when Logan caught up with her.

"I'm not really sure… Anything criminal, anything illegal I guess and then we would take photos and pass 'em on to Ronnie. We can't take anything out of here. He'll know it was us."

"Ronnie," Lilly laughed. "I don't know if she likes to be called that." Lilly had a habit of focusing on what she found most interesting about a conversation, rather than on what was most important.

"She's never complained," Logan volleyed back. "And you know she would…"

"Well, you've got me there. Ok, so did Veronica teach you how to pick locks or what?"

"Yeah, I think I've got it." Logan hadn't even been in his father's bedroom once since they had moved in. Even when he was a kid, Logan never went into his parents' bedroom unless it was to get a belt out of the closet. He shuddered at those memories from not so long ago. Logan had never had the type of parents who would comfort him if he had a bad dream. Logan shook himself out of his head and looked around the room, taking in everything.

Aaron's bedroom was much larger than Logan's and even sparser, décor-wise. The closet held the usual-belts, shoes, ties, nothing special. There was nothing under the bed; there was nothing tucked in between the box spring and the mattress. There was no desk in the room and Aaron didn't own a computer. Logan always had to type his papers at school or at Duncan's, back in the day. Or he just didn't do them at all. What did school matter anymore?

"Wait a sec," Lilly said suddenly, grinding Logan's thoughts to a halt. "What about in there?" She pointed at the air vent, near where the wall met the ceiling. "It's worth a shot, no?"

"Definitely. Let me go see if we have a screwdriver somewhere around here."

"Don't worry-I brought one. Well, two actually. Phillips head and regular." At Logan's raised eyebrows, Lilly smirked. "What? I don't know what exactly is going on here, but you can never be too prepared."

"You really should join the Army. Or the Boy Scouts."

"Don't I know it." Lilly stood on Aaron's bed to reach the vent, carefully taking it off and digging inside the wall. "Jackpot!"

"Seriously?" Logan was almost stunned speechless as Lilly produced three videotapes.

"We have to copy these somehow and bring them back."

"Veronica will know how. I just have to get her here when my dad's out."

"I can get your dad out…" Lilly offered magnanimously.

"Lilly, I can't let you do that."

"Fine, fine. You got anywhere to play these?"

"No, we're poor white trash, remember? No, I'm serious. We only have what the hotel gives us."

"Ok, so we wait. Aren't you excited, Logan? It's a real life fucking mystery!"

"You really don't worry, do you Lills?" All Logan could think of were the many horrific scenarios that possibly played out over those tapes.

"What can I say, Echolls? It's a waste of fucking time."

888888888888888

Duncan had often worried about Logan throughout the years. Duncan's family wasn't perfect, hell maybe they weren't even close, but he had always felt safe. He didn't have to escape… Or, if he wanted to escape, he just went up to his room and put on his headphones. He didn't have to run away to his best friend's house in the middle of the night. If his father had tried to hurt him-which he never had-his mother would have protected him, or vice versa. But Logan… How he could he not be fucked up and where was his mom, anyway? How could she just leave him with that monster? Mrs. Echolls may not have always been all there, but she was a nice person. She was the anti-Celeste, warm and welcoming. She didn't have an evil bone in her body. But she had the ability to look the other way… Maybe years of living with Aaron had just beaten her down too.

"Duncan!" Lilly cried as she and Logan burst through his thoughts. "Veronica's on her way but we can't wait for her."

"Why not?"

"Because we stole Aaron's tapes and he'll most likely kill us when he finds them missing, duh. So, can you play them or what?"

"I think so, Lilly. Calm down and just let me see them." Lilly thrust the tapes into her brother's hands while Logan remained oddly silent. It was Lilly's idea to bolt with the tapes, not his. "Yeah, no problem."

Logan was already starting to feel sick to his stomach. He hadn't been to the Kane house in ages. He was thankful Duncan's parents weren't home. Logan wanted nothing more than to never see what was on these tapes, to have a normal family, to join the fucking chess club or something and not have to deal with this shit. First, he would have to learn how to play chess. The glee in Lilly's eyes was unnerving. The girl lived for drama and would probably die for it someday. Two minutes later and the three of them were sitting side by side by side, staring at Duncan's TV like it held all the secrets to the world.

Tape 1: Fade to the Fitzpatrick brothers and associates torturing and eventually murdering some man-on camera-with Aaron nowhere to be seen.

Lilly and Duncan stared at each other. They couldn't believe what they were looking at was real. They had just watched a man who was tied up and blindfolded get his fingernails torn off and his head shot off. Logan came back from vomiting in the pristine bathroom and wordlessly popped in the second tape.

Tape 2: Only a few minutes long, like the first one. Murder 2. No Aaron.

Tape 3: More of the same.

Veronica walked in. "Hey, what'd you guys find out?" She was met with no verbal answer, just three ashen-looking faces staring up at her.

"Is is that bad?"

"It's people dying and being tortured for information… Real people, Ronnie, on camera. I think my dad is blackmailing these guys. Maybe that's what the hand's about too."

"The hand?" Lilly and Duncan demanded simultaneously. Oops.

"Nevermind that," Veronica said, turning to address only Logan. "Are you saying your dad isn't on any of these tapes, but has incriminating evidence against the Fitzpatrick crime family?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying."

"But why doesn't he just go to the cops, make a deal or something?" That was Duncan.

Logan scoffed. "Please, you know he's knee deep in all this shit. Maybe he's not even blackmailing them… Maybe he's working with them and these tapes are just for insurance. It's obvious they didn't know they were being taped."

"Well, whichever it is, you've got to get these tapes back, Logan." Logan grabbed the three tapes and bolted into action. "Come on, I'll drive you."

Logan and Veronica split from the Kane house with nary another word, leaving Lilly and Duncan still sitting next to each other on the couch-still totally shattered.

Logan had never been more anxious in his life than at this very moment: sticking his hotel key into the slot, prayingprayingpraying his father wouldn't be home. How many times had he said that same prayer? Veronica was not unaware of his anxiety. It took him three times to get the key to work. The third time, she rubbed his wrist with her fingertips, silently begging him to relax a little bit. And he did… Until he opened the door and saw Aaron on the couch, a glass of whiskey in his hand.

Aaron Echolls whipped his head around upon his son's approach. "Took you long enough to open the fucking door, but you always were a slow kid. Hi, Veronica. Pleasure." The entire sentence was laced with ire. Aaron drunk was about three times as scary as Aaron sober, and he hardly ever drank.

"No Lilly?"

"No she, uh, she had to leave, Dad."

"Pity. You know she is such a beautiful girl. Don't you think so, Veronica?"

"Yes. She's gorgeous." Did he know they had stolen his shit or was he just being generally creepy? Veronica didn't want to find out.

"And you too, Veronica, are gorgeous. What the hell do you see in a kid like this?" Aaron jerked his thumb roughly in Logan's direction, an ugly sneer on his face.

"We're just friends, Mr. Echolls, but I think your son is great."

"Yeah, don't you just love a kid who's already drinking his life away at sixteen… Gets fired from a fucking ice cream job… His mom can't even stand to be around him." Logan turned red with fury and embarrassment.

"Veronica," he whispered softly. "I think you should go. I'll handle it from here."

"You'll handle what, you fucking screw up?" Aaron could never just shut the fuck up and you couldn't make him.

"Please, Veronica."

"Yes, please, Veronica. Get the hell out. This is between me and my son." Veronica shot Logan a parting glance, saying basically, 'I really don't want to leave you here alone with this guy, but I have to so I don't make it worse.' Logan knew the glance well-he had seen it many times, from many different people.

He nodded at her as she walked quietly out the door, then he turned his attention back toward his father. "You drunk, Dad? Gosh, I am just so disappointed. Are you trying to turn into my mother?"

"You watch your fucking mouth. I'm not done saying what I've got to say."

"So say it."

"You ever take anything that doesn't belong to you again and I'll fucking kill you. I mean it, you understand. You're my son but I'll beat you unrecognizable and throw you in the fucking ocean."

Logan nodded almost unnoticeably, terror lurking behind his wide eyes.

"Now give me back my fucking tapes." Logan opened his backpack, took all three of them out, and tried to hand them to his dad without getting too close to him. Aaron stood up, yanked Logan into his vicinity by the t-shirt, and smacked the tapes out of his hand. As Logan watched the tapes fall to the floor, his father caught him by surprise with a wicked punch to the eye. Logan staggered backward several steps before finally losing his footing and falling to the floor.

"Pussy." Aaron spit on Logan's back and walked out of the room. Logan finally understood what really made people take the mortal plunge-never before had he so much wanted to die just to escape.


	9. Chapter 9

The next day, Logan had a black eye of course and it was only getting worse. It definitely wasn't his first and it wasn't the number one thing on his mind right now either. Logan had stayed on the floor after taking the punch for what seemed like decades. _Please leave, please leave. _But Aaron just stayed in his room so finally Logan stood up shakily, ducked into his own room, grabbed a few things as quickly as possible and fled on foot. Once he was down in the lobby, Logan whipped out his phone to call Veronica only to see her sitting on one of the Neptune Grand sofas and staring straight at him.

"You really think I would leave you entirely?" She said softly, reaching out to cup the left side of his face as soon as he got within reach. It was the most real tenderness she had ever showed him, but Logan wasn't in the right mood to appreciate it. In fact, he flinched a little at her touch. "You're bleeding, Logan."

"Yeah, I can feel it." And he had been wiping at the blood with the back of his hand for a while now. Logan hadn't bothered looking in a mirror or grabbing a towel when he was upstairs. He shook his head as if to say to Veronica, 'that's not important now.' "He knows. I had to give them back."

"That's ok. Duncan says he was able to copy them. But Logan, what's he going to do?"

"Let's get out of here, Ronnie." She nodded and they tore out of the hotel like champion speed walkers, each wanting to hold the other's hand but unsure if it was ok. Veronica climbed in the driver's side and started the ignition. As they peeled out of there, Logan looked extremely troubled.

"Where are we going, Veronica?"

"Where do you think?"

"We can't involve your dad in this. It's bad enough that my- Aaron knows you and Lilly are involved. I'm so sorry about all this."

"Are you kidding me, Logan? None of this is your fault. I was doing this against my father's wishes and against yours..." Veronica took a deep breath. "What did he do to you?"

"Nothing, he just threatened, well, to kill me basically if I ever do anything like this again. He didn't even ask why I took them. It's almost like he's fearless. I swear, it's getting to the point where it's him or me…"

"Did he hit you, Logan?"

Logan laughed hollowly. "Are you joking? Of course he did. Why do you think I'm bleeding from my fucking eye? And like that's a big deal compared with all this other shit." Logan sounded so angry and he was. He was pissed that someone was showing concern after all these years, when it didn't fucking matter anymore. A few years ago, it maybe would have made a difference but, hell, Duncan had tried and Logan shut him down. So really, once again, it was all Logan's fault.

"I shouldn't have left you alone." Veronica was starting to get choked up; she tried to stay focused on the road.

"Of course you should have. And anyway, it's not the first or even the hundredth time something like this has happened so I wouldn't blame yourself. And can you even blame him? That shit we took was important to him."

"Yes, I can blame him and I still want to know what he's planning on doing with those tapes."

"That's another thing I was thinking about, Veronica," Logan began as he suddenly realized they were pulling into her driveway. He sighed. Veronica would always put her father up on a pedestal but the man was not God. He was capable of getting hurt and, if he did, it would absolutely destroy her. Logan tried to mentally move on…

"What's up, Logan?" The car was in park and she was staring at him in earnest.

"Those tapes, right? There's torture on them and killings but nobody is getting their hand cut off… So whose fucking hand IS that?"

"Shit, Logan, how did I forget about the fucking hand already. This is great!" Logan shot her a weird look but she paid him no notice. "He doesn't know we've seen it; he doesn't know we were ever there. We can't connect the tapes to him, even with the copies, but the hand?"

"He'll kill us, Veronica. I mean, if he's willing to kill me then he'll definitely kill you."

"Logan, just come inside. We'll talk to my dad. We'll call Duncan and Lilly back. Everything will be alright, I promise." He wanted to believe her, yet found it impossible. But there was definitely no turning back now. They were going down swinging if they were going down at all.

888888888888888

Keith's first thought upon seeing Veronica and Logan walk in was that Logan's eye was probably going to swell shut. Keith didn't waste too much time reminding his daughter of what he had told her earlier: this case was one for the cops. Even more so now. Instead, he got Logan some ice and sat down with the two of them at the kitchen table. They talked. Veronica explained the situation they were in now while Logan mostly remained silent, occasionally using his one good eye to stare off at some spot in the distance while he pressed the bag of ice to the other.

"Are you ok, Logan?" Keith finally asked, knowing what the real answer was but asking anyway.

"Sure." Logan couldn't bring himself to even look up at Keith. His anxiety was climbing as if it knew no peak, and he felt all over numb at the same time. He didn't know what Keith was really thinking-maybe he was judging Logan for willingly contributing to his own father's potential demise. Maybe he saw him as weak-manipulated by Veronica. Maybe he was.

"I won't let anything happen to you guys," Keith said forcefully, looking at Logan.

"I know." But Logan still wouldn't look at him.

"I think we should go to the cops-tell them what we know, see if they can get a search warrant for your dad's storage unit."

"Ok."

"It might not still be there, though," Veronica cut in. "He might be more cautious now that he knows we're on to him."

"No, not my dad… Trust me, he is not scared of us. If he's trying to fu- mess with the psychos like the Fitzpatricks then I don't think he's worried about anything we could do to him."

"That settles it then, kids. I'm heading over to talk to the sheriff. I know you don't like Lamb, Veronica, but I have sway with him. You guys stay here. Don't open the door for anyone and don't leave the house, you got it?" They both nodded. Satisfied, Keith grabbed his keys and left. Veronica picked up the phone and called Duncan's cell. Logan finally went into the bathroom to rub the dried blood off his face.

"Hey, Veronica, what's happening?" There was a nervous edge to Duncan's voice as he tried to sound calm and Veronica would have bet anything that he was holding the phone up so Lilly could hear too.

"My dad went down to the station to get the cops involved. Aaron knows we took the tapes; he made Logan give them back. Logan and I are safe at my place. Everything ok with you guys?"

"Yeah, I mean, I guess. We're just a little freaked out at what we saw. How's Logan?"

"I honestly don't know, Duncan. He's really quiet. How would you feel finding this kind of stuff out about your dad, you know?" Duncan softly agreed. But Jake and Keith were no Aaron.

"Aaron's never been… normal though, Veronica. He's always been kind of a crazy jerk. I used to be scared as a kid to go over to Logan's."

"Yeah, he punched him in the face."

"Aaron punched Logan in the face? God, just try to make sure he's not too bad off. He keeps it inside sometimes, well, we all do. Maybe Lilly and I should swing by?"

"That's sweet, Duncan, but my dad said not to let anyone in. Just stay home and be safe."

"Christ, this is why our parents told us not to hang out with Logan anymore. His crazy fucking father."

"But he needs us more than ever."

"And we'll be there, I promise. Lilly and I have a plan."

Logan had re-entered the room unnoticed. Veronica quickly hung up with Duncan and took an appraising view of Logan. "You look better, less bloody."

"Thanks, that's just what every guy loves to hear." Logan grinned a little at her. Veronica knew joking was either a good sign or a really bad one.

"Listen, I know you're worried but you can trust my dad."

"I DO trust him. But-don't you get it-that doesn't change a thing. My life is never going to be the same, not that I was in love with it to begin with. I always knew my dad did bad things but at least when I wasn't staring at them straight on I could pretend they didn't exist… If that makes any sense. He was all I had left."

"You still have me, Logan. I'm never going to leave your side again."


	10. Chapter 10

It was now the middle of the night and Aaron wasn't sure what night. Aaron had gone to sleep soon after leaving his son on the hotel room floor. He was fucking exhausted, if he was telling the truth. He knew there was nothing the kids could do with the tapes, even if they made copies the police couldn't trace them to Aaron. The Fitzpatricks would probably trace them to Aaron but he would get the fuck out of town before that happened. Aaron was something of a novice when it came to crime, but he had always had a criminal's heart. He was just "born bad," as his dad used to say. Like that asshole was any better. Logan on the other hand was soft because his mother was soft on him. If Aaron could have just got Lynn out of the picture sooner, he and Logan could have been partners in crime... But that fucking bitch Veronica-she was the reason his son was being like this. Logan had never gone through his things before or asked even a single question. _Where's Mom? Why did she leave? What do you do for a living, really?_ None of that shit. Aaron knew Logan's rich friends were a bad influence. They had always had everything handed to them and they thought any other way of life wasn't worth living. It's not like Logan had it so bad… Hell, he had it a lot fucking better than Aaron did at his age. Logan had had two jobs in his whole fucking life, one of which was delivering the fucking newspaper.

Aaron rolled out of bed and decided to take a shower. Aaron liked looking presentable. Ten minutes later, he was walking back out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist when he realized he wasn't alone.

"I hope it's alright. I stole Logan's key," the ridiculously attractive young blonde said to Aaron.

"Lilly. Didn't expect you back so soon. Especially when Logan and I are kind of on the outs." To put it mildly…

"I don't care about Logan."

"You helped him steal my property."

"Guilty. I'm always up for a little excitement."

"I need to get dressed."

"I'll come with you." Aaron raised an eyebrow at Lilly.

"Stay put, honey," he told her. "I'll be right back."

After Aaron disappeared, Lilly nervously shuffled her weight from foot to foot and then forced herself to stop. _You're Lilly fucking Kane. You don't get nervous. _After all, her little brother was just outside the suite door, trying not to look suspicious as he lingered around. Veronica and Logan probably wouldn't have approved of their plan, but the Kanes had to do something… Lilly had always been something of a loose cannon and she was converting Duncan more and more by the second.

Aaron returned moments later, dressed to the nines. "You look great, Mr. Echolls."

"You too, Lilly. Call me Aaron."

"Right. Aaron." She smiled at him with all the flirtiness she could muster, which was a lot of damn flirtiness. She was wearing a low cut red dress. She was still Lilly Kane after all.

"Why don't you tell me what you're really doing here, girl," Aaron said with barely contained lustful menace.

"I just wanted to talk. About you, about what you do. I'm thinking about getting into the business-don't you think I've got what it takes?"

"Are you fucking with me, Lilly? You think I won't fuck with you back?"

"Oh, I'm counting on it…"

He moved toward her slowly, taking one of her hands in his. Lilly looked at him quizzically. "You want to know what I do, Lilly? I take care of bad people who need taking care of. Are you a bad person, Lilly?"

"No, Aaron, I'm a great person."

"Well then, I guess you have nothing to worry about. Your friend Veronica on the other hand… She just can't seem to mind her own business, Lilly."

"You can't hurt Veronica," Lilly said immediately, for a second dropping any and all pretense. "Her dad would kill you with his bare hands."

"I am just terrified of Keith Mars, Lilly, let me tell you." The way he kept saying her name was creeping her out but she tried not to let on.

"Are you terrified of anyone, Aaron?"

"I was scared of my dad but I took care of that a long time ago."

"Did you kill your father?"

"God, you're ballsy. What's it to you?"

"Nothing, just you might want to start treating Logan better before he murders you."

Aaron laughed. "That boy doesn't have it in him."

"Like that's a bad thing…?"

"Hell yeah, it fucking is. You've got to be willing to take what you want, when you want it, no matter who gets in the way. You're like that, Lilly."

"I know."

"So what do you want?"

"Obviously, I want you."

"You wearing a wire or something?" Lilly shook her head impassively. "But you don't mind if I check?" Aaron yanked down the top of Lilly's dress and started kissing her all over.

"I mean it, Aaron," Lilly said breathlessly, rather enjoying herself in spite of herself. "If you keep treating Logan like dog shit he might one day even cut your hand off or something."

Aaron roughly shoved Lilly away from him and glared at her, his eyes full of sudden hate. "The fuck do you think you're doing, bitch?"

888888888888888

Logan and Veronica still sat at the Mars kitchen table waiting for Keith to call or return. Almost unconsciously, Veronica reached out and took Logan's hand in hers. If they had more normal lives, maybe he would ask her to the junior prom. Hell, maybe he still would but they had to get through this first. Logan's face was so unreadable and Veronica couldn't even imagine how he was feeling. She could barely get him to speak.

"I'm sorry about him-about all this."

"You can say his name, Veronica. Aaron's not Voldemort."

"Isn't he? I'm sorry, I know he's your dad…" Veronica had never apologized so much in her life. She wasn't like Logan that way.

"No. I hate him too." And they sat in silence some more.

Meanwhile, at the Neptune Grand:

"Are you trying to get me to hurt you?" Aaron's voice was like ice and fire at the same time.

"You're not going to hurt me."

"Have you always been this stupid?"

"Just because I'm not afraid of you doesn't make me stupid." And then Lilly actually winked at him.

"You…" Aaron approached her again and squeezed her neck with one of his hands.

"People know I'm here, Aaron," Lilly's nerves were gone and she was flying on pure adrenaline. It didn't feel like fear; it felt like excitement.

"I don't care." But he released his grip on her neck.

"They're right outside. And armed. And I'm on the security camera walking in. You gonna kill all of us and destroy the evidence? Or are you going to keep the evidence like we all know you like to do."

"Lilly. I never answered you before. You do have what it takes for the job."

"I know."

"It's a shame you're too arrogant to go all the way."

"Takes one to know one. And I guess we're at a standstill. Give me what I want and I leave."

"You think you can just walk out of here and I'll never come after you."

"People will know it was you, don't you get it? My family is the most important family in this town. My dad could buy any judge if he wanted to. You will never get away with it no matter how hard you try."

"So you think you're untouchable?"

"I know I am."

"You're such a kid."

"Be that as it may, I am still not stupid. Keith Mars is going to the cops about you right now."

"What are you telling me that for?"

"So you know I'm kind of on your side. I just want to know who'd you kill and dismember? C'mon, it's gotta be somebody special if you're still holding on to them like this."

"I think you know. And that's all I'll say."

"That's not enough for me." The two adversaries had both remained eerily calm throughout the entire exchange. Aaron and Lilly really were a match made in something.

"Well that's all you'll fucking get; I don't know what to tell you."

"You're going down, Echolls. And I'm just here to make sure you do."

"How's that?"

"Because I know the cops are on their way. I'm just here to distract you. I know my friend's outside with a gun aimed at your door. I know your boss'll kill you if the cops don't get you first."

"What's in this for you?"

"I'm just enjoying myself."

"Well that's about to stop." Aaron pulled his gun and aimed it at Lilly's heart. She just laughed, to his utter exasperation and disbelief. "You really don't care if you live or die do you, you crazy bitch?"

"I really don't care about a lot of things. So what are your plans? Shoot me right here and now." It was not quite a question, not quite a statement.

"I'm thinking about it. Just wondering if you're lying about having a man outside."

"I'm not."

"Well then, who is it? Or who are they? Don't tell me it's Logan. 'Cause I've got news for you, despite what you may think, Logan will never shoot me."

Lilly scoffed. "Like I'd bring Logan as backup. He's broken. You broke him." Lilly paused and licked her lips. "Would you shoot Logan?"

"Logan is the last person alive I would want to shoot," Aaron answered immediately.

"Right, sure, you just go around beating his brains out. So is there like a ten percent chance that you would shoot him, then?" Lilly took Aaron's lack of response to mean an affirmative. He silently fumed. Aaron had never seen anyone so calm with a gun pointed at them before.

"There's like a ninety percent chance that I'm going to shoot you."

"Well, be my guest but my brother will blow your motherfucking brains out."

"You've got Duncan outside? You think I'm scared of Logan's little high school buddy? He's no match for his big sister."

"He knows how to shoot. I'm guessing he's even better than you. My dad paid for the best instructor in Southern California. And I know you, Aaron. I know that no matter what, you don't want to die. If Hell is real, obviously you're going there. Shit, maybe I am too."

"So, what, your brother's just waiting for me to shoot you so he can charge in firing."

"No, he's waiting for my signal."

"Which is…?"

"If I told you that, it'd ruin all the fun. By the way, if you're planning on shooting to kill, I'd ask that you tell me whose hand that is so I can go to sleep happy."

"You have my word."

"Good. I'm sure it's golden. And if you're not planning on shooting to kill, just know that I'll be dancing on your grave. Or visiting you in prison with bells on. Whichever you prefer."

"You are making it really hard for me not to kill you."

"I know. But you kind of want to sleep with me too, huh? You've wanted to sleep with me since I was thirteen years old."

"A lot of guys have, I'm sure."

"It's a gift." The cops would be there soon, Lilly guessed, even if she didn't really know for sure they were coming. Duncan could be there in a second but Donut had never really been part of the plan—he just thought he was. He probably thought the police should have been there by now. Lilly was the master of half-truths. And she was enjoying fucking with Aaron Echolls so much. She felt invincible. Lilly pursed her lips, shrugged her shoulders, and looked Aaron directly in the eye. "Well, Mr. Echolls, what _are _you going to do?"


	11. Chapter 11

Duncan didn't know what the fuck was going on. Time was ticking. The sun was about to come up, but Duncan hadn't even thought about sleep. Lilly had been in there forever without calling out his name. The police weren't there-she had probably lied about knowing they were coming. He couldn't decide if his sister had no fear of death or if she just let her sense of adventure overrule everything. He knew part of her was genuinely pissed on Logan's behalf that he had been raised by this man. But the other part of her… Well, that was crazy Lilly. There was nobody like her in the world and that was why most everyone adored her.

Duncan couldn't call Lilly so he quietly took out his phone and called Veronica. She answered sleepily on the third ring. "Duncan? Oh shit, I fell asleep. What's up?" Veronica and Logan had been sleeping in their chairs in the kitchen, their faces down on the table and a coffee pot in between them. Coffee going cold… Logan was now wide awake.

"Did your dad really go to the cops?"

"Yeah, they got a search warrant for his storage unit. My dad's still not back yet…"

"Are they coming to the hotel?"

"I don't think so… Duncan what's wrong?" The barely disguised urgency in his tone was beginning to freak her out.

Duncan spoke quickly, so quickly that he was difficult to understand. "Lilly-she's in there with Aaron. I don't know what the fuck she's doing. She said she just wanted to talk to him or flirt with him or something to distract him until the cops came so he couldn't empty the locker and I should wait outside in case things got bad but maybe I should knock-"

"Oh my God, Duncan!" Veronica cut him off frantically. Logan looked on in panic, not knowing quite what was happening but knowing it involved his father of course. "Ok, ok, stay put if you can, I'm going to call my dad and we're going to get the cops and head over there. Duncan, just stay calm and I'll get there as fast as possible. Keep your phone with you. Don't make any sudden movements-don't try to be a hero. Got it?"

Duncan was almost apoplectic. His breathing sped up as he tried in vain to remain calm. His breaths were becoming deeper and more rapid. He was fucking hyperventilating. Oh yeah, now was a great time to have a panic attack. _Pull yourself together, Kane. _Veronica waited for an answer from him-which involved not much more than a grunt-before hanging up and racing out the door. She hollered instructions at Logan, while simultaneously calling her dad on the phone and throwing the car into reverse. Logan's face was a sickly white, but at least it wasn't green. He couldn't help but feel like this was all his fault, because that's how Logan oftentimes couldn't help but feel.

"It's going to be fine. It's going to be fine," Veronica was repeating, more to herself than to Logan, like a mantra. "Jesus Christ, Lilly don't do anything stupid." Veronica and Logan were unarmed. Logan had never even held a gun before. They needed her dad and they needed him now.

888888888888888

Sheriff Don Lamb pounded on the door. "Aaron Echolls, come out with your hands up."

"What right do you have to come to my home and throw me out!" Aaron was edging closer to the door, his gun pointed at Lilly as she moved along with him.

"This is a hostage situation, Mr. Echolls. We know you have Lilly Kane in there, now just send her out unharmed and come out with your hands up!"

"She came over to see me. This ain't no fucking hostage situation." Well, except for the gun he had trained on her and the fact that he was now holding her hostage. Duncan was keeping a hand on his own gun he had tucked into his pants, unbeknownst to the cops. Keith was patting Duncan on the shoulder and trying to tell him that his sister would be alright. Duncan's parents were unreachable. Logan and Veronica were on their way, although Keith had ordered them not to come. But nothing in the world would stop them.

"You brought this on yourself, you know that, girl?" Aaron said for Lilly's ears only.

"So did you. You might just be the worst person I know and I've met Dick Cheney before."

Aaron actually laughed a little. "And yet still you antagonize me."

"I've been told I don't know when to quit."

"My wife," Aaron whispered. "It was my wife's fucking hand."

"I thought so, psycho. Does this mean you're going to kill me? They're going to lock you up for life if my dad or Duncan don't get you first."

"I'll take my chances." Aaron aimed the gun just as it began to sound like a battering ram was attacking his hotel door. "Say your prayers, little girl."


	12. Chapter 12

A million things seemed to happen in an instant. Logan and Veronica charged breathlessly into the hallway. Lamb and his deputies knocked the door down. And Aaron was deciding whether it was worth it to pull the trigger when…

A bullet pierced him near the middle of his chest. Aaron collapsed and dropped his weapon, Lilly ran out into the hall and-in the haze of confusion-no one really knew who had fired the wounding shot. Lilly darted to hug her brother, who was completely and totally out of it by this point. Duncan's hand was stuffed down his pocket. Veronica hugged her dad while Lamb called for an RA and prepared to arrest Aaron Echolls. And Logan just stood there, whispering to himself in disbelief, "Dad?" Was his hateful and abusive father-who yet remained the only family Logan had left in this world-about to die right before his eyes?

Lilly approached Logan from the side and spoke softly, directly into his ear: "Don't be too upset. He told me he killed your mother."

"What? Lilly? What?" was all Logan managed to gasp out as his back hit the wall and he almost involuntarily slid to the floor. His mother was dead? She wouldn't come back for him if Aaron was gone? His dad had killed his mother and then acted as if everything was normal? Aaron really was a psychopath-not that there was ever any doubt but Logan had wanted to doubt. Logan continued to take in gulping breaths of air even as the paramedics took his dad, handcuffed to the stretcher, out of the hotel with most of Lamb & Co in tow. Aaron was unresponsive.

"Keith, is he going to live?" Logan asked the air, not even bothering to look in Mr. Mars' direction. Logan felt like he was losing both parents at once. He took out his flask and took a drink. Nobody said anything about it.

"I don't know, Logan. It might have hit his heart. I'm sorry, son. We'll have to wait and see."

Logan nodded, tears running down his face as he sat on the floor with his knees pulled to his chest, still unable to move. Veronica rushed over to sit next to him and put her arms around him. Lilly looked on in sympathy but she was also thinking, 'see, it all worked out.' Duncan appeared more shell-shocked than Logan did but no one outside of his sister paid him much attention. Logan was vaguely aware of Veronica touching him, of his dad leaving, of… everything but mostly he was aware of the hallway carpeting at the Neptune Grand. It was brown with flecks of blood.

The remaining deputy kindly asked the mayor and the teenagers to vacate the crime scene. Logan looked back at his "home." No chance to grab any of his stuff, he guessed. Not that any of that mattered. Lilly, for what she had just been through, was easily the cheeriest person of the bunch. She excitedly recapped some of her conversation with Aaron, but only Veronica and Keith were really listening. She could tell it all to the cops later. Lilly and Duncan's parents were out of town and still not fucking answering, so Keith did the protective grown up thing and insisted they all go back to the Mars house. Logan had nowhere else to go anyway, but he was itching to run. To go somewhere new and start life over.

Logan couldn't even decide if he wanted his father to live or die and he just felt sick inside. Veronica was looking at him through a cloak of pity-she knew he fucking hated that because she hated it too. But she just couldn't help it and he couldn't help but get angry. Yet he remained silent. There was no way to put into words how he was feeling. He wanted to sleep for the rest of his life, but instead accepted fresh coffee when Keith gave it to him. Logan had to at least remain awake to see if his father had lived or died. He guessed he owed him that much even though the truth was he obviously didn't. Anyone could see it.

Veronica put her hand on Logan's as they sat on the couch, drinking coffee. He neither rejected her nor made any notice of her at all. She rubbed his hand. "What are you thinking?"

"I can't talk, Ronnie. I don't want to cry."

Veronica felt her eyes tear up. He was breaking her heart. Meanwhile, Lilly was trying to break Duncan out of catatonia and Keith was looking at all of them like he was sad they had to grow up before their time. It was almost just another day for Keith but it was life-changing for Logan. Logan closed his eyes and pretended to sleep; Veronica took his Irish coffee and placed it on the table. Then she took his head and placed it in her lap, not caring what her dad would think. She ran her fingers through Logan's hair and finally allowed her tears to spill until Duncan spoke for the first time: "I did it. I shot Aaron."

888888888888888

"Keith, I'm going to need to talk to everybody."

Keith nodded at Don. "Well, who do you want first?"

"Give me Lilly then Duncan. Logan and Veronica can take a walk or something."

Veronica nodded at the sheriff-who clearly thought she and Logan had nothing to add to the investigation because they were neither held hostage nor shooting to protect the hostage-and pulled Logan by his shirtsleeve. Logan dutifully followed Veronica down the hallway and to the coffee machine.

"I swear, Ronnie, one more cup of coffee and my heart's going to burst through my chest."

"We can't have that, can we?" Veronica agreed, piping out a watery French vanilla cappuccino for herself and leading Logan outside. She knew he was understandably out of it and he needed someone else to take charge.

The Southern California sun shone brightly, mocking Logan as he sat on the grass and buried his head in his hands. Veronica wrapped her arms around him, squeezing him tight. "Are you mad at Duncan?"

"No. He was trying to protect his sister," Logan said automatically. Then he added, as an afterthought: "I bet his dad can use some influence to get him off."

"Are you mad at Lilly?"

"No one's ever mad at Lilly."

"Are you mad at your dad?"

"Do you think he really did it or he was just fucking with Lilly? Oh well, I guess if he lives I'll get to ask him."

"You might have to get in line for that one… Behind the cops, I mean. But, Logan, my dad said forensics is testing the hand."

"Oh."

"I'm sorry. I know how you feel. I know it's hard."

"I know you do. It's just-all this time she's been gone-I just thought she left me. I mean, she left before; she just took me with her. I never thought someone took her away. And I kept thinking, if he left-or if he, you know, died-maybe she would come back. I just missed her, you know? She wasn't perfect but she was my mom and she didn't deserve to die. And neither did yours."

Veronica was getting choked up but Logan was refusing to cry again. It took everything he had, but he held it all inside. He leaned over and kissed her forehead and they sat there on the sheriff's office lawn, holding onto each other for dear life or until Keith got them for questioning.

Lamb didn't know quite what to do with Lilly.

"I understand you've had a near death experience, Ms. Kane, but any details you could provide would be helpful." And that was about as nice and patient as Don Lamb ever got.

"Every day is a near death experience, Sheriff Lamb. Should I have a lawyer? My parents?"

"You're not being charged with anything, Lilly. Your parents are on their way."

"Is Duncan being charged with anything?"

"I can't answer that."

"'Cause I can call a lawyer for him. You know he's allowed to possess that weapon AND he was just trying to protect me."

"Duly noted. A sixteen-year-old with a concealed weapon sounds perfectly legal... So why did you go over to Aaron Echolls' hotel room, Lilly?"

"Shits and giggles."

"Lilly-"

"What? I'm being serious. I just wanted to ask him a few questions, kind of like you're doing here."

"Was he as cooperative as you are?" Lamb could be such a smartass.

"No, not nearly. But I knew he liked me so I figured he'd stick around."

"And when you say he 'liked' you...?"

"He wanted to have sex with me, Sheriff. It was appallingly obvious." Lilly clutched at her nonexistent pearls.

"I see. And did you have sex with Aaron Echolls?"

"Is he still alive?"

"I can't answer that."

"Because you don't know yet-so that means he is, doesn't it? Shouldn't you let Logan go see him?"

"Do you think Logan wants to go see him?" Lamb was reluctantly getting swept up in Lilly's shenanigans. Oh well, he really couldn't question Duncan until his lawyer got there, so he might as well play along.

"I don't know. You should ask Keith; he'll know."

"Just a few more questions, Lilly, and you'll be on your way." Ten minutes later, Lilly and Lamb reemerged from their soundproof, videotaped room. Lilly darted outside to find her friends, unaware that Duncan was being held in another room by one of the deputies.

"Keith…" Lamb started as soon as he could track him down. "You think that kid wants to go see his dad? I can talk to him later."

"Logan? I don't know, Don. Would you?"

"I'm the wrong person to ask…" Lamb trailed off without providing any additional information other than a weak little shrug.

"I'll go outside and ask him." Logan and Veronica were still hanging out front, now with Lilly.

Lilly jumped up upon seeing Keith. "Mr. Mars, where's my brother?"

"He's waiting for his lawyer. Don't worry, Lilly. Everything will be ok."

"I'm not worried," came Lilly's standard reply. But there was a tiny voice in her head saying that if the charges against Duncan were to stick it would be all her fault. Keith nodded briefly before turning to his daughter. "How're you guys doing, sweetie? Sorry I've been stuck inside. The paper's picked up on the story and the mayor's office needed to have a comment ready."

"Sure," Veronica said. She didn't know what else to say.

"Look, the three of you can go if you want. Lamb says he can talk to you later."

"Uh uh, I'm not leaving my brother."

"Ok, well I'll stay here with Lilly and you guys can go home." He paused. "Head back to our place," Keith clarified for Logan's sake. "Take a shower, take a nap. Or… You can go to the hospital if you want. I think your dad's still in surgery."

Logan hadn't even looked up until Keith said the word 'dad.' Did Logan want to see that man again? No, he definitely didn't want to. But did he need to? What if he could be sure it was the last time? Although he almost hoped Aaron didn't die just so that Duncan would be in less trouble… Suddenly Logan was painfully aware of three sets of eyes boring into his skin.

"I, uh, what do you think Veronica?"

Veronica sat up straighter, shocked that he had really just asked her advice on this. Without much hesitation, she replied, "If I could have seen my mom one more time, I would have done it."

"Me too," Logan said, breaking her heart for about the thousandth time in twenty-four hours. "But Aaron- Even if he's ever conscious again, I don't know if I have anything to say."

Veronica kissed and hugged her dad and Lilly and then started leading Logan away to her car. Logan was lost in his own head. "Hey, Logan, the hospital's near my house. Let's just start driving and you can make up your mind the closer we get. Just think about it."

"Do you think it's wrong if I want to say goodbye? Because, even if he lives, it's goodbye. I won't see him again."

"Oh Logan, of course not. It's natural to want closure." Veronica didn't mean to sound like a shrink, but she did mean what she said.

"Ok," Logan said after several more minutes of driving. "Let's do it. I'm never going to be ready so let's just go and see if the bastard's still alive."


	13. Chapter 13

The cops were guarding Aaron's hospital room. Logan and Veronica stopped at the OR nurses' station. "Um, Aaron Echolls?" Logan questioned hesitantly.

The petite nurse behind the desk looked Logan up and down. "You gotta be family or police."

"I am. He's my dad."

"I.D." Logan fumbled through his wallet for his driver's license. Veronica kept a grip on one of his arms.

The nurse checked Logan's license and then nodded her approval. "Ok. Miss, you're going to have to wait out here. Mr. Echolls, come with me and I'll get one of the cops to let you in."

Veronica gave Logan's shoulder a reassuring squeeze and went to sit in the waiting room. Nothing she could do now except worry even though Jesus said not to.

"Is he conscious?" Logan asked the nurse as the two of them took off down the hallway.

"I'm not sure. But he made it through surgery. He's recovering but they couldn't keep him with the other patients in recovery so he's got his own room."

"His own, guarded room. Lucky him."

"Yes." She paused slightly. "I'm sorry. I know this is hard. I'll try to find his doctor to come talk to you, ok?" Logan nodded just as they approached his father's room.

Deputy Leo stood outside. "Logan."

"Leo. Is my dad awake?"

"I haven't been inside since they brought him back, kid. Why don't you just go and see for yourself?" Leo's tone was soft and gentle like always. He nodded at the nurse who took off back down the hall. Leo knocked on the hospital room door to alert the other deputy to let Logan in. The door opened slowly and deliberately.

"Sacks."

"Logan."

And there was Aaron, in a hospital gown in a hospital bed. Logan was surprised to see he wasn't handcuffed to the bed. Aaron looked a little pale. He had NC oxygen on and a chest tube draining blood into a bag at his side. He had a Foley in and some IV fentanyl surging into his vein. Otherwise though, he looked like he always had. The man was frightening even when asleep. He never looked relaxed and those around him could never relax.

"What's that tube for, Sacks?" Logan asked finally.

"Uh, I guess the bullet hit one of his lungs-not his heart. His left lung? The doc had to put that thing in surgically to help get the blood out. Removed the bullet, reinflated the lung and patched it up, I guess. Said he's pretty sure going to make it… Don't know if that's what you wanted to hear or not."

"No manslaughter for Duncan."

"Who we kidding? There's no way that boy was ever going to prison."

"Yeah. He's got a good family." _And here lies mine._

"Logan, he's asleep but I think he's conscious. I can't leave the room but I promise to try not to pay attention if you want to talk to him."

"I just don't know what to say…" Logan's eyes searched Deputy Sacks' face for an answer.

"Maybe you won't know until you say it." That sounded about right. Logan approached the bed with the same caution he was used to having around Aaron. Maybe Aaron would be easier to talk to when he was doped up. His father had never done drugs as far as Logan knew… He was probably a lightweight compared to his son. But whenever Logan had taken drugs it was for a different kind of pain-alcohol was better at relieving that pain than acetaminophen was, that's for sure.

Logan touched his dad's arm-the one on the IV side, not on the chest catheter side. Aaron didn't stir. Logan pinched the arm. Aaron groaned a little. Sucking up all his might, Logan did the only other thing he could think of-the thing that would have gotten his ass kicked were Aaron up to ass-kicking.

He slapped his father hard across the face. So hard that the oxygen tubing came out of his nose.

Sacks cleared his throat from the other side of the room but Logan didn't even bother sparing him a glance. Aaron's eyes twitched open as he struggled to readjust his oxygen. "Logan? What the fuck, Logan? You hittin' me now?" His words sounded tired and drunk.

"Just paying you back a little for all the love you've shown me over the years. How's that lung feel?" Only on rare occasions was Logan brave enough to talk to his father like this.

"Your friend Duncan is dead when I catch him. You hear me-DEAD. And that Lilly bitch too."

"There's a cop in the room with us, you moron. You might want to rein it in."

"You, Logan…" Aaron broke off, starting to cough painfully. He struggled to keep his eyes open and fixed on Logan's face. Finally, when his wheezing had subsided a little, Aaron said: "You're not such a pussy when your old man can't fight back, huh?"

"No, I guess not. Well, it's been good to see you, _Dad," _Logan spit out the last word with venom. "Have a good rest of your life. I'm glad to see your near death experience hasn't changed you at all."

"Oh, what, you're not going to take care of me when I get out of this dump?" The sarcasm was dripping.

"You mean like you took care of Mom? NO, I'm not going to take care of you but-don't worry-I'm sure somebody will."

"Are you threatening me, boy?" Aaron didn't even bother denying his role in Lynn's death. Hell, if Sacks weren't there, he probably would have confirmed it.

"No, of course not, I'm not a killer. I'm just stating the obvious. Bye, Dad." Logan turned to walk out of the room when Aaron's shaky hand shot out and grabbed him by the elbow. It was a familiar grasp, but much weaker than it usually was. Logan easily shirked his father's grip but stayed still, waiting for what was to come next.

"Logan," Aaron sighed, his voice a near whisper. "Whatever happens to me, in here or out of here, just know that you are the only thing left in the world that matters to me. Just know that."

"Is that a threat?"

"No. That's a fact."

Logan, his eyes brimming with tears, finally looked back at Sacks. "So how're you going to pretend you didn't hear any of that?" Logan gave a halting little laugh and knocked on the door to be let out. Leo looked at him with sympathy and so did Sacks-Logan could feel the sympathy boring into the back of his head. However Aaron was looking at him, Logan wouldn't know. He left his father without turning back.

888888888888888

Logan went back to Veronica's house. He wanted to sleep for forever but forever wouldn't be long enough. Veronica put a blanket over him on the couch before falling asleep herself. They slept into the next day before Keith woke her up.

"Hey, Veronica…"

"Oh, hey. School?"

"Don't worry about it. Lamb still needs to talk to you guys-mostly to Logan, but I thought he could use your support." Veronica glanced over at Logan on the couch adjacent to hers. He looked peaceful and happy for the first time in an eternity. She just nodded her head. Her dad was right. Logan shouldn't have to go through this alone.

"Why don't you hop in the shower and I'll wake him up, ok? There'll be coffee waiting for you when you're done."

"Thanks, Dad. You're the best." He kissed her forehead. Veronica knew Keith was a great dad even without bothering to compare him to Logan's, but… Her heart ached for everything she had that Logan would never have. She shook off her pity and headed upstairs for the shower.

Keith studied Logan sleeping for a minute before steeling himself to wake the kid up. He didn't want Logan to face all the shit he would surely have to face-if only he could stay sleeping for forever.

"Logan-hey?" Keith tried but it didn't work. He was out like a light. Probably hadn't had a real night's sleep in ages. Keith touched Logan's arm and Logan's eyes opened with a start.

"Oh, hi, Mr. Mars. I forgot where I was…"

"You're here and you're welcome here as long as you need to be." _One more year, until you graduate. _But Keith couldn't say the words. He didn't want to make it sound like Logan didn't have a choice in the matter. Logan half-smiled to show his appreciation. He started to sit up on the couch and stopped, looking down.

"Is there any way for me to get some of my clothes? I don't really have money to buy new ones and these are about to start walking on their own…"

"I can loan you some of mine for today. I'll talk to the sheriff's office about getting your stuff this afternoon." Logan tried not to smirk-after all, he was a little taller than Mr. Mars and they didn't exactly share a sense of style. He might as well borrow Veronica's clothes.

So he just said, "Sure, thanks." Logan didn't want to sound ungrateful.

"You want some coffee Logan?" Keith asked, heading off to the kitchen to brew it.

"Alright, thanks. You Mars people sure drink a lot of that stuff."

"It's how we get all our spunky energy."

Logan smiled. "Right." It sort of made sense.

"Veronica's in the shower," Keith said. Logan tried not to think of Veronica in the shower. He focused on her dad.

"Um, Mr. Mars?"

"You can call me Keith if you want."

"Ok, Keith? What's going to happen to my d- to Aaron when he gets out of the hospital?"

"I honestly don't know, Logan. I think that's something you'd be better off asking the sheriff when you see him today."

"Thanks so much for letting me stay here. I always used to go to Duncan's when I had nowhere else to stay."

"When was that?"

"When my dad and I would fight." Logan had been working on distancing himself from his father by calling him Aaron but occasionally he forgot. "Sometimes he'd kick me out or sometimes I'd just have to leave." Logan realized he was the one who had brought up this topic of conversation. It was like he no longer felt Aaron had any hold over him. Even though he still had a black eye he felt safe and free and allowed to talk about it.

"Did he hurt you?" Logan thought for a second and then just nodded. It was easier that way.

Keith's face was overwhelmed with sorrow. "I'm sorry, kid."

"For what?"

"For not being there, for not realizing what was going on. For no one realizing what was going on. We all knew what he was like."

"Oh, no, it's… Anyway." Logan had no idea what to say. He was starting to stutter. "M-my mom tried to help when I was little, but…" Logan's hands shook even though he hadn't had any coffee yet. He couldn't really talk about his mom. "I guess he just broke her too."

"He didn't break you."

"You don't think?"

"No, of course not."

"Well, I had Duncan. He was a good friend. When we were twelve he told me you're supposed to tell someone if your dad is hitting you. So I told him. I mean, he had figured it out already so… He told me to tell an adult but I thought my dad would kill me so I never did. And I wouldn't let Duncan. And here we are now. Maybe if I had told on him my mom would still be alive."

"Don't think like that, Logan. This couldn't possibly be less your fault."

"I know. Really, I do. I just want her back."

"I know how you feel. I'd give anything to see Lianne one last time. Or even just to know why she did it. What was going through her head when she made that choice… It hurts not getting to say goodbye."

Keith and Logan shared a look of sympathy and for once Logan didn't mind it. Everybody goes through shit, he figured. Some of it worse than others. Logan had no immediate family left but that was good in a sick, sad way. He was free to move on. Aaron was living but Logan'd be goddamned if he ever set foot under that man's roof again. Logan's life was now his own.


	14. Chapter 14

Logan entered the sheriff's office wearing Keith's flannel shirt and too-short khakis.

"Stylin'," Leo greeted him, trying to lighten the mood.

Logan smiled a little. "You wish you could look this good, Mumbles." Leo smiled back.

"We'll get you over to your hotel room after Sheriff Lamb talks to you for a few minutes, ok? You won't be wearing Keith Mars' hand-me-downs much longer. C'mon, right this way." Leo directed him towards Lamb's office.

"Thanks, Leo."

"My undying pleasure." Leo winked at Logan and closed the door behind him.

"Logan," Lamb boomed. "Take a seat."

Logan sat uneasily. He didn't know the sheriff very well but he knew Veronica didn't really like him. Keith seemed ok with him though, so Veronica was probably hiding something from her dad… Shit, from all of them.

"I've already got Duncan's and Lilly's statements so this'll be pretty quick, don't worry." Logan nodded. Lamb noted that, unlike the rich Kane kids, Logan didn't ask for a lawyer. Logan had been in this situation before too and always just sat there anxiously. When he was fourteen and they picked him up for boosting a car, Logan had sat on his hands and looked at the ground. His only words were begging them not to call his dad. But, of course, they had to. And when Aaron had to come down to pick up his kid, he acted scandalized. He also acted enraged, but that part probably wasn't an act. In Aaron's twisted mind Logan had screwed up by getting caught, not by attempting to steal a car. Lamb shook his head and focused on the task at hand.

"Could you describe your father's recent mood."

Logan hesitated but only briefly. He decided to speak the truth. "Um, he was pretty happy 'cause he had come into some money. He was acting arrogant. But he was also a little on edge at times. He was angry, but he's always angry."

"Did he make any threats to you or around you? Specifically, to Lilly Kane?"

"Well, he threatened to kill me the other day but that's not so new." Logan laughed a little.

Lamb looked shocked, for the first time that Logan had ever seen. "I mean," Logan continued, trying to make it sound less serious than it was for whatever reason. "He would get really mad sometimes and threaten to kill me or whatever. Obviously, he never actually went through with it. I took some tapes of his and he gave me this." Logan cleared his throat and pointed to his swollen black eye. "As far as Lilly is concerned, I knew he had taken... a special liking to her, I guess you could say. I thought he might hurt her someday, maybe, I don't know… I kind of warned Duncan about it."

Lamb grimaced and nodded like he already knew that. Logan wanted desperately to know everything that Duncan had said, but they hadn't spoken to each other since all the shit went down. Logan could imagine what Lilly had said: heavy on flirting, light on intel. (But it was there if you knew where to look for it.)

"We've recovered the tapes, Logan. Looks like your dad is helping us put the Fitzpatricks away."

Logan's mouth fell to the floor. "Are you cutting him a deal?" Didn't they know that his father was a dangerous man-a man who would beat and abuse those closest to him, never mind those he didn't "care" about.

"No, well, we would have certainly considered it but… Kid, I hate to be the one to tell you this but forensics got the results back on the severed hand your father was keeping as a souvenir." Lamb sneered the word _souvenir_ like he was saying the word _cunt_.

"My mom?" was about all Logan could choke out.

"All signs point to yes."

"So you guys think he killed her? He told Lilly he killed her."

"I know and I do. We're just going to have get the lawyers to prove it in court. But I'm sorry, son."

"Yeah, well," Logan was about two seconds away from sobbing or exploding from holding it all in. "Don't be sorry for me. I never thought I'd see her again anyway. Be sorry for her. Even when she was there she wasn't really there but she didn't deserve this… She was a good person surrounded by bad things."

Logan sighed and looked at the floor. He shifted his weight and sat on his hands. He felt like such a kid. He wasn't even seventeen yet and he had lost almost everything that mattered in the world. "Sheriff, what would you do if you were me?" Logan said suddenly. "Where do I go from here?" Still trying not to sob.

Lamb paused and decided if he should go there or not. And he did. "I've been you, Logan. I have. I swear. My father was a mean sonuvabitch who beat my mother 'til nothing mattered to her anymore. I had to start over on my own, make my own life. Find something you like and do it, you know? Go to college. Take care of yourself. Hang out with Veronica Mars. She's a pain in my ass but-in some ways-she's a good kid."

"She's strong."

"I know. Even in the face of defeat." Was that regret in his voice?

Logan looked at Lamb quizzically but the sheriff said no more.

"All I'm saying Logan is don't give up just because your old man's a bastard. You have your entire life ahead of you. Figure out what you want."

"Thanks. I mean it."

Lamb shooed Logan off with a wave of his hand. "Go on, Echolls, we're done here. Get back to school why don't ya? I'll see that when your father gets out of the hospital no judge grants him bail."

Logan headed out, quietly wiping his eyes as he went. Was this really a new beginning? Him and Veronica against the world? If she'd have him... First thing first, he had to talk to Duncan. The guy had been avoiding him and it was time to have a real conversation.

Logan knocked on the front door to the Kane mansion for the first time in what felt like forever. The housekeeper answered.

"Hi, Mrs. Salazar-is Duncan at home?"

With one look from the housekeeper, Logan knew that she knew everything. Shit, who didn't? Kane software heir shoots best friend's dad to save sister's life in an armed standoff involving the cops? People were going crazy for that shit and they didn't even know the half of it.

A few minutes later, Duncan warily descended the stairs, keeping his eyes anywhere but on Logan's face. Duncan was wearing sweatpants, a Padres t-shirt, and mismatched socks. He didn't look like himself. He looked restless and exhausted at the same time.

"Hey, man. Duncan please look at me." Duncan looked up at Logan's command, but he did so slowly-almost as if he were expecting a punch to the face. Logan's calm demeanor and friendly expression confused Duncan and caught him off guard.

"You don't hate me?"

"He killed my mom. You should have shot him in the fucking head."


	15. Chapter 15

_About one year later…_

"Logan Echolls!" Logan walked up the three steps to the outdoor stage, accepted his diploma and shook the principal's hand. He moved his tassel to the other side. Looking out into the crowd, Logan noticed Keith Mars beaming as if Logan were his own son. It made Logan simultaneously happy and sad. Keith had been so good to him over the past year, but every little kindness just reminded Logan that he had no family left in this world. Oh, but Aaron was still kicking. Somewhat unbelievably. He was finally going to trial for the murder of his wife, something he continued to deny having any part in to anyone who would listen. People didn't really want to listen though. In Neptune, Aaron Echolls' word was mud. He was white trash hoodlum scum. Still, nobody really knew his motive or, shit, even his weapon. It was all a big mess but the silver lining was that Logan hadn't seen his father since the day at the hospital. Duncan and Lilly were being called to testify but not Logan (even though he had stories to shock the jury). Lilly was surely pissed off that she had to leave her new home of New York City to return to podunk little Neptune for the trial. Apparently Lilly was sleeping with two of her professors (one male, one female) at Columbia-not for the grades, mind you, but for the sheer hell of it. At least that's what she told Veronica. Meanwhile, Aaron had brought a sort of unwelcome notoriety to the Echolls family. Logan thought about getting out of Neptune too someday and starting over. Kids at school looked at him funny but so what? Logan had no father as far as he was concerned…

"Duncan Kane!" Duncan loped onto the stage and smiled big for his dad's Nikon camera. Duncan had gotten off with little more than a slap on the wrist for shooting a man in front of the cops. In some ways, he had a charmed life. The Kanes weren't the type of family to send their kids to Hearst College. Sure, it was a good school but they could afford to send their kids anywhere and Duncan had the grades to go somewhere great. Duncan was leaving it all behind and moving out East to join his sister. He was actually going to Brown, not Columbia, but they'd be close enough to see each other every once in a while. New York was a little bit much for Duncan-whenever he went there with his parents, he got a little anxious. Lilly on the other hand was in heaven.

"Veronica Mars!" Veronica stepped carefully in her high heels and waved to her dad. High school, in many ways, had sucked. She was so glad to be moving on with her life. Hearst was going to be the beginning of her real life. She was going to live with her dad for the first year, while Logan went to community college and tried to pull his grades up so Hearst would admit him as a sophomore. Then they would get an apartment together. It was all planned out… Logan had told Veronica in no uncertain terms that he couldn't live with Keith anymore now that he was turning eighteen and they were graduating. Logan was working his old ice cream job and also as a surf instructor and had his security deposit all saved up for his first solo apartment. He felt pathetic about how excited he was over this development. Even though Keith Mars was great, Logan still walked on eggshells in the Mars house because it wasn't his home. He didn't want to screw anything up, piss anybody off; he still felt like he didn't know all the rules. And now that he and Veronica were officially dating and yet living under her dad's roof… She would stroke his arm or kiss his lips and he would push her away. He couldn't let her dad think Logan was taking advantage of his daughter and the situation. Veronica wasn't scared of her dad at all, but Logan still was. When you're used to people fucking with you, it's hard to relax.

Logan and Veronica threw their caps up in the air and then raced to go find each other. He picked her up and swung her around. They kissed. Veronica whispered in his ear: "It's all going to be ok."

Logan pulled back a little and looked Veronica dead in the eye. For this first time in his life, he agreed and wasn't lying. "I know. I've got you." It felt like the world around them had disappeared, even as Keith and Duncan were approaching. At the start of junior year, Logan pretty much didn't think happiness was possible. Living with his father, every day felt like a tense eternity. But now he knew, you could make your own life. Whatever shit other people put on you, it wasn't your fault. And fuck 'em all.


End file.
